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Booz Allen Hamilton Interviews and on research, Culture. Welcome back to essay, our Firm Profile series. An Essay? Today we#8217;re going to be looking at Booz Allen Hamilton, a firm with a great name and essay, a confusing history. An Essay? Headquartered in the Greater Washington, DC area, Booz Allen Hamilton is essays on inflation well known for its governmental work. But after several sweeping changes to Booz Allen Hamilton#8217;s infrastructure, the question now hanging over Booz Allen Hamilton is how it#8217;s going to weather the storm and if it will come out an essay on research, stronger on the other side. Booz Allen Hamilton Headquarters: McLean, VA. Carol Introduction Essay? Booz Allen Hamilton Employees: 22,500 Employees. Booz Allen Hamilton Locations: 14 countries, 20 offices. In 1914, Edwin G. On Research? Booz developed a theory that businesses could be more profitable and more successful if they could garner advice from impartial outsiders. From this noble seed came a company that birthed management consulting as we know it. And, let’s be honest here, don’t we all love that his last name was Booz, and that he named the company after himself?
From the very beginning, Booz Allen Hamilton has been involved in some very high profile cases. Argumentative Be Banned? In the 1940s, it was hired to help the United States Secretary of the Navy prepare for an essay World War II, and in the 1960s Booz Allen Hamilton coordinated the AFL-NFL merger, a move that paved the way for the Superbowl. Essay On Renaissance? One of Booz Allen Hamilton#8217;s finest moments from the early years was in the 1950s when Time Magazine dubbed it #8220;the world#8217;s largest, most prestigious management consulting firm.#8221; Over the an essay, years, Booz Allen Hamilton has also done a lot of work for essay smoking the federal government. From security projects for the Department of Homeland Security, to working with the FCC to improve public warning systems, and on research, providing intelligence support to military and defence agencies, Booz Allen Hamilton has been around the block a few times. This also means it has friends the high places, so you don#8217;t want to take the firm lightly (or, for on inflation that matter, be mean to the big boys). One confusing thing about Booz Allen Hamilton, however, is the number of name changes it#8217;s gone through its 100+ year history. Starting off as Edwin G. An Essay? Booz, it#8217;s also been known as Business Engineering Service; Edwin G. Should? Booz Surveys; Edwin G. Booz and Fry Surveys; Booz, Fry, Allen Hamilton; Booz, Allen Hamilton; and finally Booz Allen Hamilton. On Research? Another confusing thing about on renaissance period Booz Allen Hamilton is on research its organizational structure. In the are racist essay, good ol’ days, Booz Allen Hamilton was two very distinct businesses. There was one arm that dealt with governmental clients and another that dealt with commercial entities. An Essay? In 2008, after months of negotiations, the commercial side broke away and became Booz Company, with the governmental side keeping the name Booz Allen Hamilton.
As part of christmas introduction this process, Booz Allen Hamilton sold a $2.54B majority stake in an essay itself to essays on inflation, private equity firm The Carlyle Group as a means of reinforcing its independence from Booz Company. Just a few years later, in 2010, Booz Allen Hamilton went public and the Carlyle Group remains a majority shareholder. An Essay? During negotiations, Booz Allen Hamilton agreed not to compete with Booz Company for carol essay 3 years and therefore kept within the realms of governmental and an essay on research, public sector work. After the provision against competition expired, Booz Allen Hamilton has diversified its client base, moving into technology integration and cybersecurity programs. As for Booz Company, it was purchased by essay, PricewaterhouseCoopers and became Strategy , a firm we covered in an earlier Firm Profile. Although Strategy worked to rebrand itself as non-government focused and BAH has worked to an essay on research, diversify, both brands are really overshadowed by the (wealthy but non-stealthy) legacy of working directly with Big Brother both in the U.S. and overseas. Essay? At the top of the Booz Allen Hamilton food chain sits the an essay, board of directors. The President of the essay on renaissance period, Board is an essay Dr. Ralph Shrader, who served as CEO from 1999-2014.
Beneath the board of directors are the senior management staff, including CEO Horacio D. Was So Revolutionary About Essays? Rozanski; CFO, Treasurer and Senior VP Kevin Cook; and Executive VP Karen Dahut. Acquisition Program Management. Commercial (Financial Services, Health, and Energy) Economic Business Analysis. On Research? Intelligence Operations Analysis. Essay? International (Middle East/North Africa) Supply Chain Logistics. On Research? Systems Engineering Integration. Management Consulting Engineering Technology Products Solutions Strategic Innovation. Civilan Agencies Defense and Intelligence Energy Financial Health High Tech Manufacturing Specialized Services International Non-Profit.
Shanghai, China Wellington, New Zealand Bangkok, Thailand Dubai, United Arab Emirates Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates Hong Kong, Hong Kong Jakarta , Indonesia Seoul, South Korea Beirut, Lebanon. Tbilisi, Georgia London, United Kingdom Copenhagen, Denmark Helsinki, Finland Paris, France Munich, Germany Berlin, Germany Frankfurt, Germany Dusseldorf, Germany Milan, Italy Rome, Italy Oslo, Norway Warsaw, Poland Moscow, Russia Madrid, Spain Stockholm, Sweden Amsterdam, Netherlands Vienna, Austria. Central South America. Sao Paulo, Brazil Rio De Janeiro, Brazil Santiago, Chile Bogata, Colombia Buenos Aires, Argentina Caracas, Venezuela. Huntsville, AL Los Angeles, CA San Diego, CA San Francisco, CA Colorado Springs, CO Washington, DC Tampa, FL Atlanta, GA Honolulu, HI Chicago, IL Leavenworth, KS Linthicum, MD Lexington Park, MD Annapolis Junction, MD Rockville, MD Boston, MA Omaha, NE Parsippany, NJ Newark, NJ Eatontown, NJ New York, NY Cleveland, OH Dayton, OH Philadelphia, PA Charleston, SC Dallas, TX Houston, TX San Antonio, TX Salt Lake City, UT Mclean, VA Chantilly, VA Herndon, VA Falls Church, VA Arlington, VA Stafford, VA Norfolk, VA Mexico City, Mexico. Your career path at Booz Allen Hamilton migrates upwards through 6 total levels: Those joining the firm right out of college will be hired as Consultants and essay on renaissance period, MBAs will join as Associates.
Booz Allen Hamilton offers 8-10 week long summer internships to all who can demonstrate the following: 30 credit hours of on research coursework A declared major Enrollment at an accredited college or university at the undergraduate or graduate level. Because of the early requirements, BAH can be a great place to essay, do an early internship. An Essay? Unlike Bain or LEK, the of ohio dissertations, firm doesn#8217;t restrict itself to an essay, junior hiring and you have a great opportunity to learn some grand consulting processes and get a brand name on your resume with absolutely no experience. Booz Allen Hamilton also has specific internship opportunities for disabled students, the Emerging Leaders Internship Program. In Pakistan? If you have a qualifying disability under the ADA, have completed at least 45 credit hours, and on research, have a minimum 3.0 GPA, visit www.emerging-leaders.com for more information. To apply for essays on inflation in pakistan an internship, visit www.boozallen.com/careers, create a profile, and use #8220;internship#8221; keyword search all internship opportunities.
Hiring begins in an essay on research the fall and lasts throughout the spring, but applications are accepted throughout the year. Revolutionary About Essays? Candidates will be interviewed on campus or over the phone. As a high level firm with world class name recognition, you will have plenty of opportunities should you decide to transition out. From academia, to an essay, the corporate world, to MTV, former Booz Allen Hamilton employees have pretty much done it all, and that#8217;s before we get into all the high level federal opportunities readily available to university of ohio, you. An Essay On Research? When you put things in the context of of ohio its history, Booz Allen Hamilton is uniquely positioned to give its alum access to on research, a both public and private sector opportunities. Having retained the christmas carol essay, governmental work, kept the an essay, prestigious 100-year-old #8220;Booz#8221; name, but now exercising its freedom to work with commercial entities working at Booz Allen Hamilton would definitely be a wise move for your early career. That being said, even though Booz Allen Hamilton does now have the australians essay, freedom to an essay on research, work with commercial clients, it#8217;s only carol introduction been able do so since 2011 and building up a significant reputation and an essay on research, client base takes time. Jonathan Black – Director, Corporate Affairs University of Oxford Rohit Bhagat – Global Chief Operating Officer Barclays Global Investors Sir (Francis) Christopher Buchan Bland – Chairman Royal Shakespeare Company Chipper Boulas – Former Vice President of Corporate Strategy eBay Jonathan S. Bush – President, CEO, and Co-founder Athena Health Art Collins – Chairman and CEO Medtronic, Inc.
Tim Collins – Founder and Chief Executive Ripplewood Holdings Edward C. Davies (Ted) – Managing Partner, Unisys Federal Systems Karen Fawcett – Director Standard Chartered Bank Malaysia Richard Gay – Senior Vice President of Strategy and Business Operations VH1 and university of ohio, CMT, MTV Networks Rhonda Germany – Vice President of Strategy and an essay, Business Development Honeywell Patrick Gorman – Senior Vice President and Chief Information Security Officer Bank of America Gerry Horkan – Vice President of Corporate Strategy Yahoo! Inc. Paul Idzik – Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer Barclays PLC Abigail Johnson – President Fidelity Investments Raymond J. Lane – General Partner Kleiner Perkins Caufield Byers Edward J. O#8217;Hare – Chief Information Officer U.S. General Services Administration#8217;s Federal Acquisition Service Todd Y. Park – Co-founder and introduction, Chief Development Officer Athena Health Mark DeSantis – Chief Executive Officer ANGLE Technology Stan Scoggins – Vice President of Worldwide Digital Assets Universal Studios Owen Nieberg – Chief Operating Officer All About Braces Deven Sharma – President Standard Poor#8217;s Michael Wolf – Former President and COO MTV Networks. Boozers (yes, we#8217;re calling them that) seem to on research, have mixed reviews when it comes to working at Booz Allen Hamilton. There are lots of perks, such as flexible hours, great benefits, great work-life balance, paid parental leave and paid overtime for entry level Consultants who work more than 40 hours in a week (that will likely be you). But that#8217;s not to say there aren#8217;t drawbacks. After making a name for essay smoking be banned itself as a government contractor, the economic downturn hit. Hard.
This meant revenues shrunk rapidly, as government spending was cut. Booz Allen Hamilton was left trying to recover fiscal ground and there#8217;s been a huge push from the top to make sure the bottom line is at a desirable level. An Essay? Experienced staff, in particular, are having a harder time in the midst of this season because they feel Booz Allen Hamilton#8217;s priorities have shifted in the wrong direction and they miss the way things used to be. Since Booz Allen Hamilton went public in 2010, they feel many of the revolutionary the american, decisions and cuts that the an essay, management made have been in the interests of christmas carol shareholders and not employees. On Research? Many remember how things were before 2008 and christmas carol essay, fear Booz Allen Hamilton will never return to the place of strength it once had.
If you look closer, there are a few decisions that are a little bit concerning. On Research? The health benefits, though still excellent, are more expensive than they used to be, with higher deductibles. On Renaissance Period? Offices are being sold off to increase the bottom line, despite falling revenues. Raises, too, are now no longer based solely on performance but are tied to many other factors, making them harder to get. What#8217;s interesting though is that, in a case of not missing what you never had, newer staff members seem to really like working there and an essay on research, don#8217;t really have as many complaints.
On balance, it would seem that Booz Allen Hamilton is still a good firm to work for, even if some of the changes being made are disappointing, though not catastrophic. There are some within the carol, firm who feel Booz Allen Hamilton is moving further away from an essay on research strict management consulting and instead becoming a data sciences or high end analytics firm. Even though there are many great aspects to working at on renaissance period, Booz Allen Hamilton and it is still a great place to work, there are obviously a few things you should take into on research, consideration before accepting an offer. A definite high point about essays on inflation being a Boozer, however, is the firm#8217;s ongoing commitment to junior staff members#8217; career development. Even though all firms say it#8217;s a priority, not that many actually follow through with it. With internal courses, external courses, and on research, mentoring programs among other things, Booz Allen Hamilton strongly encourages its staff to pursue growth throughout the year. Even if the firm itself is experiencing turbulence and university dissertations, change, if you work there, especially at an essay, the start of essay you career, you#8217;ll definitely come out on research, with some valuable experience.
Start with character, intelligence, and what revolutionary about the american revolution, industry Daily—think right, act right, eat right, sleep right, work right, and play right Know your own blind spots Always be willing to listen and to help worthy young people Require character, intelligence, and “hard work” as the starting foundation in selecting people Pick the cream of the crop for your partners Fear not the an essay on research, future, nor people. (2015) #1 Best Consulting Firms for Public Sector Consulting Vault (2015) Perfect Score Corporate Equality Index Human Rights Campaign (2014) Susan Penfield (Vice President) Women of christmas carol Excellence Award National Association for Female Executives (NAFE) (2014) Top 100 Companies for Working Mothers Working Mother Magazine. An Essay On Research? BOOZ ALLEN HAMILTON INTERVIEWS AND RECRUITING. First things first: the christmas introduction, chance of on research you getting a case to solve in introduction essay a Booz Allen Hamilton consulting interview is an essay on research greatly reduced when compared to other large firms. It almost sounds sacrilegious to put that in print, but it#8217;s true (and wonderful for those of you that don#8217;t love cases). When you#8217;re interviewing at Booz Allen Hamilton, your first interview will be on campus, on the phone, or sometimes even in person it all depends on your circumstances (learn more about case interviews).
For the argumentative should, next interview, you will most likely have several 1:1 interviews with different mid-senior level staff members. Be prepared to speak highly of yourself and of your experience. Know your resume inside out so that you can walk your interviewer through your highlight reel with ease. Booz Allen Hamilton is a highly interpersonal firm, and many interviewees speak highly of the interview process, saying they felt like their interviewer was getting to on research, know them as a person and not just asking them a memorized set of questions, so remember to essays on inflation in pakistan, present yourself well. On Research? Make and maintain good eye contact, a good firm handshake, etc. If you can make a good connection with your interviewers and represent yourself well, you will put yourself in period a great position to be hired. Applying to an essay, Booz Allen Hamilton? Or maybe you already have an australians interview with Booz Allen Hamilton and would like to on research, make sure you#8217;re up to speed with your resume and any potential cases that may pop up. Carnegie Mellon University Columbia University Duke University Florida State University George Mason University George Washington University Georgetown University Georgia Institute of Technology Hampton University Harvard University Howard University Johns Hopkins University Mississippi State University MIT Morgan State University Norfolk State University Northeastern University Ohio State University Old Dominion University Penn State University Purdue University Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute Gallaudet University Texas AM Towson University University of California, Irvine University of essay should California, San Diego University of Dayton University of Delaware University of an essay on research Illinois, Urbana-Champaign University of Maryland, Baltimore Co. University of Maryland, College Park University of Notre Dame University of australians are racist Puerto Rico University of Texas, Austin University of an essay Texas, Dallas University of Texas, San Antonio University of Virginia Virginia Tech Williams College. Booz Allen Hamilton has established a forum for employees with disabilities, introduced ASL interpretation at major meetings and closed-captioning of corporate videos.
Booz Allen Hamilton Chairman Ralph Shrader has also worked closely with the President#8217;s Committee on Employment of People with Disabilities (PCEPD), Business Leadership Network and is the recipient of leadership awards from the christmas essay, National Business Disability Council.
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safe sex lies essay When I was twenty-five years old I appeared in the pages of the an essay on research New York Times Magazine in my underwear. Well, almost. A cartoon drawing of a girl in her underwear—a girl who, with her short blond hair and apple cheeks over a pointed chin, looked remarkably like me—appeared in conjunction with an essay I’d written about the way Generation X was reacting to essay the safe-sex message. The year was 1996 and the AIDS crisis, though technically past its apogee, seemed to an essay on research have finally succeeded in infiltrating every corner of the general public consciousness and scaring the hell out of it. Invocations to get tested for HIV loomed from billboards and in subway ads.
Celebrities preached about safer sex in christmas introduction public-service announcements. Music videos and an essay on research, advertisements appropriated AIDS awareness as not only a form of essay provocation but an agent of style. It was the year of the Broadway debut of Rent, a modern-day retelling of on research La Boheme that featured several characters who were either infected with HIV or dying of AIDS. The essay had been brewing in the american revolution essays my mind since at least two years before, when I’d been jolted by a print advertisement for the Benetton clothing company. It featured more than a thousand tiny photos of smiling, attractive young people purporting to on research represent every part of the world. Intermittent faces were shaded and partially obscured by the word AIDS, creating a visual effect that spelled out the word in larger type when you looked at the image from farther back.
I ran across the ad while flipping through magazines with some girlfriends one night, and it prompted a heated and slightly panicked conversation about whose faces these were and whether they really had AIDS. One friend said, “Yes, of course they do; that’s how bad things have gotten.” Another wasn’t sure, and I thought it couldn’t be possible. This led to an even more heated discussion about how dangerous the world was and how we, as twentysomething females living in New York City, should perhaps hang up our dancing shoes (or, in our case, black leather lace-up boots) and marry the next person we met (after the requisite health screenings, of course), lest the single life literally kill us. I was a young writer back then. I won’t say “aspiring writer,” because I’d actually managed to publish a few things that elevated me slightly out of the “aspiring” camp and were steering me into was so about the american revolution, the “promising” camp. An Essay On Research? Still, I was green. I was enrolled in an MFA writing program that I fiercely loved but for essay on renaissance period, which I had taken out an essay on research monstrous student loans. It seemed worth it, though. In my second year of the program, I set aside the university fiction I’d gone there to pursue and began writing personal essays. Things started clicking almost immediately and a central theme emerged: the relationship between myself and society, the tension between the an essay trappings of are racist contemporary life and the actualities of that life, what it meant to be “alive” (i.e., twenty-five years old) in an essay on research “today’s world” (i.e., New York City). And, as is always the case for in pakistan, a young writer, every experience I had—every book I read and film I saw, every trip to the corner deli, every ranter I heard in the street—was potential fodder for another piece of groundbreaking, human condition–explaining nonfiction.
Hence the week in the fall of 1995 when, after visiting the health-services office of on research my university for a head cold and deciding on essay smoking a whim to get a free HIV test, I started thinking about that Benetton ad and those shaded faces and found myself suddenly gripped by the terrifying possibility that, despite not having engaged in anything remotely constituting risky behavior (at least from a rational standpoint; in those days of on research equal-opportunity alarmism, any acts of uncondomized sex, possibly even those involving only oneself, were considered a death wish), I could wind up among their ranks. And when I went home that evening and sat down at dissertations, the computer (Band-Aid stuck menacingly to my arm from the blood-draw, my stomach queasy at the prospect of waiting two weeks for the result), an essay was born: a loud, flashy, nakedly ambitious essay about the way non-promiscuous, non-IV-drug-using heterosexuals often abandon condoms a month or so into their relationships, after which they get paranoid so they get tested for an essay, HIV and then drive themselves insane with anxiety during the wait, after which they usually resume the essays on inflation behavior that made them paranoid to begin with. I talked about the way the national conversation around HIV-awareness had resulted in millions of little white lies that people told each other on a regular basis: for instance, “I’ve never once had sex without a condom.” I talked about how it was difficult for an essay on research, a woman to go on a date with a man without looking for australians, subtle clues that the guy might once have had sex with another man. An Essay On Research? I spoke of how messages like “There’s no such thing as safe sex” had promulgated the idea that paranoia and mistrust were the australians are racist keys to an essay a healthy life. University Of Ohio Dissertations? I talked about how, as a freshman in college, a senior who claimed to have inside information about the public-health stats of the student body looked at me earnestly and said that there were lesbians on campus who had HIV, which they’d contracted from other lesbians. I spoke of how stuff like this was simultaneously so hard to believe and so terrifying that it was tempting to just ignore the message altogether. I spoke of my own melancholy and loneliness and an essay on research, confusion. Essays On Inflation? I think at an essay, one point I might have used the word dystopia. I also called Benetton and asked if the people in the ad were really known to have HIV or AIDS. They weren’t. I mentioned that, too.
I may have been in graduate school, but I was already flinging my work all over town, pitching ideas to magazine editors and hand-delivering work samples (somehow this seemed more serious and of ohio, professional than using the U.S. mail) to on research the reception desk of every publication within subway distance. Australians? When an editor at the New York Times Magazine called me and an essay, asked if I had anything edgy and new to on renaissance say about my generation, I sent him the AIDS essay and he immediately invited me to lunch to discuss it further. On Research? Upon inquiring during that lunch as to whether I’d be willing to “trim the essay a bit” (“Sure!” I chirped. “Anything you want!”), another lunch was scheduled, this time at are racist, Orso with two more editors who plied me with yellowfin tuna and told me the an essay piece would need to be cut nearly in half to accommodate a two-page spread, but that I shouldn’t worry because I was the voice of my generation and everything would be spectacular. They were right about the spectacle. Though I’d worked hard—with the editors and on my own—to shoehorn my original three thousand words of, as I’d proudly described them, “very nuanced ideas” into the allotted seventeen hundred words, I didn’t pull it off. The final edit was abrupt, not all that coherent, gratuitously provocative, and suggested that I might have had unprotected sex with upward of five hundred people (in truth, the number was in the low single digits, and are racist essay, “unprotected” was a matter of interpretation). On Research? In addition to the tarty cartoon drawing (which had been sent to press without my knowledge, and essays, which the art department had conceded to only after I declined to sit for a photo shoot), the on research essay had been assigned the are racist rather awkward title of “Safe-Sex Lies.” If I had been just slightly older and wiser, I would have withdrawn it from publication in a heartbeat. But of course I was neither of those things. I was the voice of my generation, which, in the case of this article, wasn’t proving to be a very appealing one. An Essay On Research? The article came out, the Times received roughly six hundred irate letters within five days, my phone rang off the of ohio hook, and I was invited to appear on the NBC Nightly News.
Let’s keep in mind that this was pre-blogosphere, pre–twenty-four-hour news cycle, pre–caller ID, pre–ubiquitous email. I had a dial-up AOL account and a red Southwestern Bell telephone that my parents had picked up back in Texas in the ’70s and relinquished to me when I struck out on my own. I was sharing an apartment with two roommates who did not appreciate that the phone was ringing every five minutes. Usually the on research person on the other end had called to say how disgusted they were with what I’d written and what a slut I was and how I was either appallingly homophobic (for suggesting that HIV might not be affecting heterosexuals at of ohio, the same rate) or had a “pro-gay agenda” (for suggesting HIV was a problem at all). An Essay? My classmates, who’d been the first to read the on renaissance period piece back in workshop, seemed perturbed about the whole thing. (How was it that I’d ignored their editorial suggestions but ended up in a national publication nonetheless?) My parents were rightfully mortified, and my friends were rapidly growing tired of talking me off the an essay cliff every day, listening to my whining and rationalizations and telling me what I wanted to hear, which is that the “right people” understood what I was trying to revolution get across; I was ahead of my time; and, besides, no one was saying I was a bad writer, merely a bad person.
When a correspondent for the NBC Nightly News came to interview me in my apartment (roommates eavesdropping from the kitchen as they made grilled-cheese sandwiches), I tried to on research acquit myself but mostly made things worse by australians, rambling on in a sound bite–unfriendly fashion (again with the “dystopia”) and looking slightly derelict with an aggressively short, bleached-blond haircut (it was the mid-’90s, after all). The final broadcast included a lot of B-roll footage of me in on research my overcoat and black leather boots walking down the essay period snowy New York City sidewalks. When the segment ended and an essay on research, Tom Brokaw looked up from his desk monitor and into christmas carol introduction essay, the camera, he shook his head with an an essay, air of such profound, almost avuncular concern that I felt like I had been sent to my room. It would be years before I could watch him without feeling like he was judging me from university of ohio dissertations inside the television set. Fifteen years on, a head shake from Tom Brokaw wouldn’t register as even mild censure. As much as the culture has eased up on HIV-preventative scare tactics, it’s become ruthlessly punitive in the face of on research just about on inflation any point of view that embraces ambiguity or gets expressed in a less-than-literal fashion. A young person (any person) who published a piece as incendiary as “Safe-Sex Lies” today would be chewed up and spit out so many times over by bloggers and commenters and cable-news screamers that the idea of “understanding what I was trying to get across” would seem not just quaint but moot. Indeed, nobody understands or even cares what anyone’s trying to get across anymore, only an essay, that the ensuing buzz has made the author a “media presence.” An essay like “Safe-Sex Lies,” were it to appear today, would not merely make a splash, it would likely go viral. It would ricochet around email boxes, fill those yawning expanses of airtime on talk radio, and appear on the home pages of countless news aggregators, all the christmas carol essay while dragging behind it an ever-expanding trail of an essay “response,” much of it from people who haven’t read all, or perhaps any, of the essay, but nonetheless feel compelled to weigh in.
The writer would then be inveighed upon to react to argumentative the reaction, to compose blog posts and participate in live chat sessions and call in to radio programs, not so much in an attempt to clarify her original message, but to an essay on research talk about how “interesting” the public reception has been, and what a “wild ride” it all is—“wild ride” being a euphemism for thousands of anonymous internet comments calling you unprintable words. These days, being attacked isn’t just the result of saying something badly, it’s the result of saying anything at all. I can testify to this, because for more than six years, I have been a weekly opinion columnist for the Los Angeles Times. This is a great gig, and what was so revolutionary about the american essays, I have many loyal, smart, thoughtful readers. But I also live with the fact that practically everything I write is met with an avalanche of invective. It runs the gamut from an essay partisan attacks to personal attacks to entreaties to my editors to stop publishing me immediately. Internet comment-boards can easily take up ten or fifteen times the space of the are racist essay column itself. My email in-box overflows with outrage and umbrage: “Shame on you!” “You are an idiot and a disgrace.” “What a stupid little twit you are.” And, in one of my recent favorites, “You have no credibility because you let your opinion get in the way.” Some weeks, if I’ve hit a particularly sensitive nerve, blogs of every imaginable variety will link to the column, offer their own spin, and on research, then invite their own legions to chime in.
On one hand, of australians essay course, this is an essay, what every columnist wants most. Like anyone who publicly expresses his ideas, be it through writing or music or visual media or anything else, the goal is to essay be banned be heard, to an essay inspire reaction and generate discussion. But based on much of the reaction I get—especially the comments in my own paper, where a stable of regulars have become so personally invested in their dislike for me that they’ve taken to remarking not on my column but on my looks, marital or reproductive status, and standing on argumentative smoking be banned the bitch-o-meter—I can hardly give myself credit for starting anything resembling a discussion. What prevails instead are more like internet-style shoot-’em-ups, all-capped shouting matches between people with screen names like LibertyLuvr44 and GreenGrrrl. They rage on for pages and pages, enjoying far greater word-count freedom than I or my colleagues could ever dream of. Liberals will refer to Republicans as “rethugs,” who in turn will call liberals “libtards.” Blue-state types will make lame trailer-park jokes about red-state types, who, in an essay on research turn, will call the essays in pakistan president a socialist. The frequency with which people actually call me “Meghan Dumb” often makes me feel young again—for instance, in on research second grade. My commenters also have a great affinity for making things up—again, a freedom not enjoyed by those in the newsroom. Meghan is 40 years old and still not married. What About Revolution? Tick tock tick tock… Anyone who knows Meghan knows of what I speak.
She’s an angry middle aged woman and an intolerant hack. What a pathetic, inept, and uninformed person you are. Your articles are brainless, and when I read them I think of how miserable as a person you must be. Probably a fat ugly little girl who needs to prey on others to feel better…A fat, ugly squashed bug. You are a vile, loathsome, despicable pig. Your stench permeates through the web. Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I know that online hecklers represent but a tiny fraction of readers. I also know it’s actually a privilege to get feedback like this.
It means that people are actually reading what I write, that editors are actually publishing it, and, moreover, that I’ve been able to make a career out of observing the culture and expressing my thoughts in writing. Over the an essay on research years, I’ve scrambled to carol introduction pay rent with enough menial office jobs to know better than to an essay take even one day of uninterrupted, paid (or even unpaid) writing for granted. I know that a lot of writers would kill to be called a squashed bug or a despicable pig, if only because it beats not being called anything at all. But if most writers have long understood that publishing is a privilege that carries certain responsibilities—foremost among them taking the time to essays on inflation in pakistan present ideas in on research a careful and essay, thoughtful manner, ideally with the help of one or more editors—many readers seem to be approaching their commenting privileges like teenagers with newly minted driver’s licenses. Belted in by anonymity and often distracted by the equally reckless ravings of their peers, they take potshots, spread untruths, and, at on research, their worst, spew racism and essays in pakistan, bigotry that would put a professional writer out of an essay business in a nanosecond. In so doing, they spread a rancor that can eclipse not only the original article but also the comments of in pakistan readers who take a more constructive, civil approach. They take the very privilege the internet has afforded all of us—the privilege of equal opportunity, instant expression—and spit on an essay it, making the are racist very notion of “speaking your mind” seem almost like a dirty practice, the national pastime of the lowest common denominator. This “haterade” (as the young blogger types have brilliantly coined it) is an essay, especially acute around political subjects and, in the case of my colleagues and myself, doubly acute when it comes to President Obama or Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin or any subject remotely connected to race or gender. It by argumentative, no means stops there, though. I’ve written about everything from an essay on research shelter pets to the lost pleasures of waiting for the mail, and still been called a “retarded scum pile that personifys [ sic ] everything that’s wrong with society today.” As many times as I’ve been called a feminazi—more than once by Rush Limbaugh, who apparently skims my column regularly—I’ve had liberals calling for university dissertations, my resignation because I’m not politically correct enough, and an essay on research, feminists wanting to break my knees over any number of perceived slights to the cause. Like most of my fellow columnists, I’m told on of ohio dissertations a daily basis that I’m utterly unqualified for my job and the sole reason that print media is dying.
For all the sputtering outrage I’ve provoked in my socially conservative readers, most of whom know nothing about an essay on research me but nonetheless like to fantasize that I’m some kind of East Coast blue blood who gets abortions in her spare time and was educated entirely by vegetarian, Marxist lesbians at fancy schools I didn’t have to pay for christmas introduction, (“Meghan comes from a very rich family that paid for all her schooling and supported her lavish lifestyle,” a commenter once declared), I also hear from plenty of on research humorless progressive types who find me “offensive” and “terribly disappointing,” and christmas, who want to an essay on research be removed from on inflation my mailing list immediately. Admittedly, I’m the kind of person who’s capable of hearing a single boo amid a cascade of applause. Though I don’t always realize it, a lot of the feedback is on research, not only positive and what was so about the american essays, flattering, but critical in an essay ways that I need to hear and fully accept (one of the great lessons of doing a weekly column is accepting that you won’t hit it out essay on renaissance period of the park every single week and that your audience has a right to inform you when those weeks occur). Though I know that it would be a lot better for everyone (first and foremost my husband, who must endure my efforts to an essay on research “reappropriate” the meanness by printing out the australians are racist essay most egregious examples and attaching them to the refrigerator) if I could just focus on on research the respectful communiques, it’s not always easy. The writer and director Nora Ephron, who wrote columns of a personal and often provocative nature for Esquire in should be banned the ’70s and then returned to the form in 2005, when she began blogging on an essay the Huffington Post, told me her first encounter with twenty-first-century audience participation left her totally shocked. “It’s like in carol high school I’d wonder what people are saying about me and then I’d realize it’s just as well that I don’t know,” she said. In “The Readers Strike Back,” a particularly thoughtful article on on research this subject that appeared on Salon back in 2007 ( Salon being famous for australians essay, some of the an essay on research more affronted and pious commenters on what was so revolutionary the american revolution the web), Gary Kamiya admitted that “it’s very hard for writers, who want to be read and want to an essay know what readers are saying about them, to ignore letters or blogs about themselves.” He quoted Salon senior writer Laura Miller, who allowed that “practically every writer I know has gone through the mill with this,” and essay period, then invoked Anthony Trollope’s line from Phineas Finn: “But who is on research, there that abstains from reading that which is printed in abuse of christmas carol himself?’” Though I’ve never been tempted to go undercover to an essay avenge myself, as was the case with Lee Siegel, the New Republic reporter who created a false account and in pakistan, attacked his attackers on an essay on research his blog on the magazine’s website (and got himself suspended in the process), I do have my share of confrontation fantasies. I’ve often imagined tracking down some of my more vehement detractors, knocking on their doors and asking, “Who are you? What has made you so angry?
What has happened in your life that you’re reduced to spewing bile at people you know nothing about?” It turns out I’m not the only one with this fantasy. Last year’s short-lived reality show, succinctly entitled H8R (if you can’t decipher that idiom, you are too old to be watching the program), followed celebrities like Snooki and Kim Kardashian as they confronted people who’d said mean things about them on the internet. It would be foolish, of course, to expect a show of essays on inflation this kind to offer anything terribly insightful about this phenomenon. Since the haters weren’t hiding behind screen names but instead proclaiming their hate on camera and an essay on research, keeping it in compliance with the specifications of any number of producers, network executives, and revolutionary about essays, advertisers, they were no match for an essay, even the mildest trolls on a political blog. But the university of ohio dissertations very fact that the show made it on the air at all suggests that the an essay cultural appetite for this kind of confrontation is growing more ravenous by the day. What Revolution? (This past Halloween, a middle-school-age trick-or-treater showed up at my door wearing a costume that said hater lover; later, I spotted another kid in dress proclaiming him an an essay on research, actual “hater”; I hope they found each other.) It makes me think I wasn’t so crazy when I once, only half-jokingly, suggested to a colleague that the opinion columnists at our paper should host a “haters picnic,” wherein we would cheerily serve up hot dogs and potato salad and essays on inflation in pakistan, give our angriest readers the chance to tell us in person what they thought of us. My colleague’s response was that it would cost too much to hire security, though he also hinted that I should shut up and just do my job.
He had a point. Part of our line of on research work involves being able to essay period ignore the agitators, or at least brush them off. If I were fundamentally unable to handle criticism or anger or even the occasional threat, then, yes, I truly would be unqualified for my job. But there is a world of difference between the traditional notion of public participation in a newspaper or magazine and the cacophonous, sometimes libelous free-for-all that passes for it today. Whereas the old-fashioned letter to the editor involved crafting a letter, figuring out where to send it, springing for a stamp, and knowing that its publication-worthiness would be determined by an essay on research, an actual editor who might even call and suggest some actual edits, today’s readers are invited to “join the conversation” as if the work of professional reporters and columnists carries no more authority than small-talk at christmas introduction, a cocktail party. An Essay On Research? And although some sites are making efforts to was so revolutionary about essays weed out the trolls by disabling anonymous posting, filtering comments through Facebook, or letting readers essentially monitor themselves by an essay on research, flagging or promoting comments at their own discretion, most are so desperate to argumentative essay should be banned catch eyeballs wherever and on research, however possible that they’re loathe to turn down any form of free content. This is by now an university of ohio, old gripe in journalism circles, many members of which will point out an essay on research that the last word on the matter could well have been said three years ago when the Onion published its fake news story “Local Idiot to Post Comment on Internet.” But if three years ago the phenomenon felt like a wave that was about to are racist crest and then surely dissipate into on research, a vague memory of some fleeting, anarchic period in the history of the internet (“Remember back in 2008 when only idiots posted comments?” we imagined ourselves chortling one day), it feels today like the disease-ridden aftermath of argumentative smoking be banned a flood. Ugly commentary doesn’t just litter the internet, it infects it. On Research? It takes the act of reading an article or watching a video or listening to essay a podcast and turns it from a receptive experience into a reactive one. It does not invite us to an essay “join the conversation” as much as to join in on a fight, or at least gawk from the sidelines. Perhaps worst of all, it gives the impression that the opinions expressed in of ohio those fights are not just the ravings of a few local idiots but the “voice of the an essay people.” Spend enough time in christmas carol the company of that voice and the world will begin to on research look like a very bleak place indeed.
When I think of the coiners of the term haterade, those young, mean/smart, media-obsessed bloggers on mean/smart, media-obsessed websites who seem to be able to whip up five hundred words of clever commentary in be banned the time it takes people my age to think of an opening sentence, I wonder if their brains are wired in such a way that the slings and arrows of on research free-flowing obloquy don’t inflict quite as much pain on them as they might on their elders. The fact that they’ve developed several playful iterations of the dissertations word hate —you can hate on someone, show some hatitude, or simply be a hater —suggests that they’ve found a way to laugh at and therefore defang (reappropriate?) the whole gestalt. But I also wonder how often they get to experience the thrill of an essay clueless abandon. I wonder if they’ve ever really been able to express anything—in print, on a blog, on argumentative should Facebook, wherever—without on some level bracing themselves for mockery or scorn or troll-driven pestilence. An Essay On Research? I wonder if they could write something as controversial as “Safe-Sex Lies” (even in a more coherent form) and expect anything less than a full-blown assault from an smoking, electronic lynch mob and an essay on research, a lifetime of damning search-engine results. Still, for was so about the american, all the ways in which haterade feels like a scourge of very recent vintage, it’s crucial to remember that in some aspects the acrimony has always been thus. The earliest newspapers in America were penned almost entirely by pseudonymous writers, many of them up to just as much mischief as today’s anonymous bloggers. Benjamin Franklin created several false identities under several different pen names, including a middle-aged widow named Silence Dogood, a gossip named The Busybody, and, his best-known, Richard Saunders, whose aphorisms and predictions became the basis of an essay on research Poor Richard’s Almanac, an on renaissance period, annual publication, launched in 1732, whose mocking tone went so far as to report deaths that hadn’t occurred. During the federalist era, political opponents Alexander Hamilton and an essay on research, Thomas Jefferson, and essays in pakistan, their respective acolytes, were hating on each other and on the Adams administration so vituperatively that the president signed the Sedition Act of 1798, a statute that made it illegal to publish “false, scandalous, and malicious writing” against the government or its officials.
Not that there weren’t still plenty of an essay on research choice words for nonofficials, particularly those with access to a printing press. During his tenure as editor of a New York–based federalist newspaper, Noah Webster was characterized by rival pamphleteers (the bloggers of dissertations their time?) as “an incurable lunatic,” “a toad in the service of sans-cullottism,” “a prostitute wretch,” “a great fool, and a barefaced liar,” “a spiteful viper,” and “a maniacal pedant.” (It’s fitting that these barbs made such baroque use of vocabulary; Webster was the an essay on research founder of the are racist essay first modern dictionary.) In other words, angry people of the millennium, haterade in public discourse didn’t spring fully formed from the an essay on research digital cabbage patch; it’s part of the smoking should be banned DNA of on research opinion itself. Betty Winfield, Curators’ Professor at christmas carol introduction essay, the University of Missouri School of Journalism and a specialist in mass-media history, sees it as little more than the latest form of public expression. An Essay? “If you have a democracy and people have viewpoints, this is another way to express it,” Winfield told me. “We’ve had viewpoints and individual expression since caveman paintings. The question is whether you own it.” The whole notion of dissertations accountability in on research journalism, she said, didn’t start until the advent of journalism schools, in the early twentieth century, when the concept of “professionalism,” with its emphasis on standards, criteria, and established procedures, took root in America. But a funny thing has happened since the australians are racist essay rise of professionalism. The tenets it embraced—that some people are more qualified than others, that training and on research, apprenticeship have value, that not everyone can or should (or needs to) gain admission into the club—have become unfashionable. And that is because haterade is not exclusive to the media world.
It’s not merely an argumentative essay should be banned, occupational hazard of being a bigmouth. It affects just about on research anyone who tries to do anything that is subject to public (which is to say online) discussion. It affects the business owner who’s at the mercy of random, nameless Yelp reviewers who might well be his competitors in disguise. Christmas Carol Introduction? It affects the an essay physician for whom the few patients who post reviews on medical-ratings sites are inevitably the smoking be banned disgruntled ones. It affects the educator who can’t give a poor grade without risking retribution via the websites Rate My Teachers or Rate My Professors. It takes the very essence of an essay what it means to carol introduction essay be a professional—training, experience, sheer chops—and reduces it to a stage act to be evaluated with an applause-o-meter. Part of me wants to conclude this essay with a manifesto. I’d like to declare an end to the self-torture. I’d like to call on every writer, musician, comedian, cartoonist, chef, glassblower, nail-salon owner to promise right here and now to an essay stop reading his own bad press and concentrate on doing work that’s true to his vision and essays, unencumbered by an essay on research, anticipatory concessions to ankle-biters who probably won’t ever be satisfied with anything. Carol? I’d like to an essay on research be able to make my own vow to stop looking over my shoulder and go back to writing like the person I was before I’d ever seen a comment board (even if that means taking a little messiness with the exuberance). But I cannot lead such a charge, not only because, as tends to happen with manifestos, it’s as impractical as it is rousing (if Trollope couldn’t be expected to control himself, why should we?), but because ignoring the bad stuff would mean missing a lot of good stuff.
And when that stuff is good it can be really, really good. When the university of ohio dissertations criticism is valid it can be priceless. And when ideas are given their due—that is, treated as living, breathing, imperfect things rather than written off as glib reactions to preexisting ideas—something rather magical can happen. There can be a second of silence during which we, as readers, think before chiming in. There can be a gasp of an essay recognition that reminds us why we read or write in the first place. About? There can be a moment of reverie as the words hang in an essay on research the air, before the hate blows in and knocks them to the ground. Such things are possible. They are just uncommonly rare these days.
Rarer still are two words that can form one of the essay dearest phrases in the English language: no comment. Meghan Daum has been an opinion columnist at the Los Angeles Times since 2005. Her latest book, Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived in That House, is an essay on research, now out in paperback.
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Project Report / Essay on Monsoon in India This is Project Report/Essay on Monsoon of India - Our country is a land of great diversity in on research, climate. There are wide seasonal variations as well as variations between day and night. These variations are observed in temperature. A word of monsoon use derived from the Arabic word 'mousam' which means season. There are four season of argumentative essay should, Monsoon in on research, India. Cold weather season Weather season - Monsoon season Retreating monsoon season. The zone of high temperature shift north words owing to the apparent north word movement of sun.
Minimum temperature exceeds 40 0 C over most part of North India during May. During the cold weather season. Low temperature conditions brevaid in the Northern plains. This result in what was so the american revolution essays, the formation of a high pressure in an essay, the northern plains. Australians? Cold and dry winds blow out from this high pressure.
North east trade winds prevail over the Bay of Bengal and the peninsula most parts of India have fine weather with clear skies. Parts of an essay, North-West. On Renaissance? India are affected by western disturbances which originate in the medi terranesn sea. These disturbances give rainfall and on research snow fall to parts of Jammu and Kashmir, Punjab, Himachal Pradesh and Haryana parts of Tamil Nadu cost also get rain fall from north east winds blowing over the Bay of Bengal. Advancing Monsoon season is a blessing if it rains in carol introduction, time. It gives peace and pleasure to all.
Monsoon season in summer gives us great relief. An Essay? It lessens the heat the temperature comes down. The air becomes cool. Men, animals and birds all feel refreshed. The leaves of trees have a glistening shire.
The gardens look charming. Monsoons season in winter is dreaded by all. Then we are remained of saying. 'Lay by something for a rainy days. Except for ultimately or excessive rains a monsoon season in argumentative essay smoking should, India are greeted Is equally useful to animal and plant life. It is important to men life also. The four months namely June, July, August, September form the core of the rainy season almost all over India. This duration of the rainy season. However goes on decreasing from an essay on research south to north and from east to essay, west. An Essay? In the extreme north west it is barely two months.
Between three-fourths and nine-tenths of the total rain fall is concentrated over his period. This may gives us an idea of how unevenly it is distributed over the year. The low pressure conditions over the north - western plains get further intensified By early June they are powerful enough to carol, attract the trade winds of southern Hemisphere. These south-east trade winds are of oceanic origin coming from the Indian ocean they cross the on research equator and enter the Bay of Bengal and the Arabian sea, only to be caught up in the air circulation over India. Passing over the equatorial worth currents they bring with them moisture in abundance. On Renaissance? After crossing the equator they follow a south - westerly direction. This is why they are known as south west monsoon. Thus the north east-trades of winter, originating on the land are replaced by diametrically opposite south west monsoons laden with a moisture.
The monsoon unlike the trades are not steady winds. They are essentially pulsating in nature. The rain bearing winds are strong. On Research? They blow at an average speed of 30 KM per hour barring the extreme north west they over run the christmas introduction country in a month's time the an essay on research sudden approach of the moisture - laden winds is associated with violent thunder the university lighting. This us known as 'break' or 'burst' of the monsoon. It is of interest to note that these monsoon winds follows a south-westerly direction. But as they approach the land their direction is modified by the relief and thermal low pressure over north-west India. To begin with, the Indian peninsula divides the monsoon into two braches. They are the Arabian sea branch and the Bay of Bengal branch.
The Arabian sea branch of the monsoon is obstructed by the western glades. The wind are side of the sahyadris receive very heavy rains. Crossing the ghats they overrun the ocean bateau and Madhya Pradesh causing fair amount of an essay, rainfall. Thereafter they enter the Ganga-plains and mingle with the Bay of carol introduction, Bengal branch. Another part of the Arabian sea branch strikes the saurashtra peninsula and the kachchh. It then passes over west Rajasthan and along the Araballis, causing only an essay, a scanty rainfall. In Punjab and Haryana, it too joins the Bay of Bengal branch. Of Ohio? These two branches. The Bay of Bengal branch is naturally directed towards the coast of myaninsar and part of south-east Bangladesh.
But the Arabian Hills along the coast of Myamar are good enough to defect a big chunk of this branch, enabling it to enter the Indian subcontinent. The monsoon, there fore enter west Bengal and Bangladesh from on research south and south east instead of the south westerly direction. There after this branch splits into two under the influence of the one branch moves west ward along the Ganga plains reaching as far as the Punjab plains. The other branch moves up the Brahmaputra vally in the north and north east coursing widespread rains in the North eastern India. Christmas Carol? Its sub-branch strikes the Garoand Khasi Hills of Meghalaya Mawsyntain located on an essay on research the crest of the sough tern range of university of ohio, khasi Hills, receives the highest average annual rainfall in the world. An Essay On Research? Cherapunji, located 16 km east of Mawsynrain holds some other rainfall records. Australians Are Racist? Distribution of rainfall received from south west monsoon is very largely governed by the relief or orography for instance, the wind ward side of the Western Ghats registers a rainfall of over on research 250 centimeters. On the other hand the leeward side of these ghats is hardly able to receive 50 cm. Again the heavy rainfall in the north eastern states can be attributed to their hilly ranges and the eastern Himalayas.
The rainfall in the northern plains goes on decreasing from east to of ohio, west During this particular season Calcutta receive about 120 cm, Patna 102 cm, Allahabad 91 cm and Delhi 56 cm. Forms of Precipitation. Common forms of precipitation are rainfall, drizzle, snow fall, sleet, and hail. (1) Rainfall - This is the most common form of precipitation. It consists of water falling in drops from the an essay on research clouds. The size of rain-drops varies from 0-5 mm to 6 mm in diameter. The ascent of large masses of air is essential for rainfall to occur.
The ascent may be brought about in three ways. corresponding to these there are three main types of rainfall : Convectional, cyclonic and orographic. (a) Convectional rainfall :- Convectional rainfall is caused by the process of convection in the atmosphere the sun reads the earth’s surface which, in turn heats air near the ground. The warm cur rises in fast convection currents. The rising air is cooled till it's dew point is reached now the water vapor condenser I clouds form, and australians essay rainfall occurs. An Essay? Convectional rainfall is common in equations region. It occurs as heavy downpour, often accompanied by thunder. Cyclonic rainfall :- This type of rainfall is also called frontal rainfall. It is associated with the passage of a cyclone. It occurs when a warm air mass overrides a damson mass of cold air along a front condensation takes place, with cloud formation and rainfall ahead of the on renaissance front.
Orographic rainfall :- This type of rainfall is caused by mountains standing in the path of an essay on research, moisture- laden air the air is forced to rise and is thereby cooled. Clouds form and rain fall on the wind ward slaps of the mountain. The air is almost free of moisture when it descends over essay on renaissance the other side of the mountain. On Research? This side, called the leeward slope, receives relatively light rain, or no rain. It is, therefore, an area of dry climate and is often called a rain shadow area. (2) Drizzle :- Rainfall in fine raindrops of less than 0-5 mm diameter is called drizzle. The fine droplets of drizzle appear to float following the lightest movement of air.
The Drizzle falls continuously from law, thin - layered clouds. It is often associated with fog and poor visibility. (3) Sleet :- Rain that is Frozen or partially frozen is called sleet. It is produced when rainfalls through a cold layer of air near the earth's surface. (4) Snowfall :- Precipitation in the form of minute ice crystals is called snowfall. It occurs when water vapor condenses at temperatures below 0 0 C. and the lower atmosphere is sufficiently cool.
These conditions are essential for ice crystals to reach the ground without melting. Snowfall is common in middle and high latitude. (5) Hail :- The roundest pellets of australians, ice that fall from esdense cumulus clouds of on research, immense vertical height are called hail or hailstones. Hailstones range from 5 mm to 5 cm in diameter. In Pakistan? These are formed when there are strong vertical currents of an essay, air. Condensation then occurs at very high altitudes at very low temperatures.
The pellets of ice formed within the clouds repeatedly rise and fail with draughts. They keep colliding with super cooled water droplets which instantly freeze on them. They grow larger and on renaissance period heavier by deposition of an essay, ice layers. Where as they are too heavy to university of ohio, be sustained by an up draught, they fall to the ground. On Research? The internet structure of hail reveals several concentric layers of clear ice alternating with milky layers of ice.
Regional distribution of Monsoon in India. Regional distribution of rainfall in general. The amount of rainfall decreases (a) away from the quarter on either side up to 30. north and south, and (b) from the coasts to wards the interior of continents. According to the amount of annual rainfall. There are five broad rainfall regions : (1) Region of heavy rainfall (above 200 cm) which includes four distinct areas : (i) Equatorial zone of on renaissance period, doldrums where the temperature are very high through the year. The sun-warmed earth causes the humid surface air to an essay on research, rise in convectional currents resulting in heavy. Essays On Inflation In Pakistan? Convectional rainfall. The maximum of heating is usually in the early afternoon. At this time there is a sudden downpour, often accompanied by thunder and an essay lightning. During the university dissertations season of heaviest precipitation, rain falls almost every day.
There is no definite dry season. However, there is often a less wet season, particularly in these portions of the region which are further away from the equator. (ii) Western coasts of continents in the zone of westernizes in cool temperature zone where the westernizes blowing from sea to land bring heavy rainfall. The rainfall is mainly associated with the passage of mid-latitude cyclones. (iii) Coastal areas of monsoon lands which receive heavy rainfall from strong winds blowing from the Indian ocean towards low pressure areas in the interior of Asia during summer. The rainfall is particularly heavy on the windward slopes of mountains where it is orographic rainfall. (iv) Windward slops of mountain ranges which intercept ocean winds causing heavy rainfall on their wind ward slopes. These ocean winds are the south-west monsoon in the western ghats, Himalays, and Araban Yoma, and an essay westerlies in the Rockies, Alps, and Andes. 2. Region of moderate rainfall covering the essays on inflation in pakistan castern coastal lands of the an essay on research sub tropical belt. Main areas are most of the Brazilian Highlands in south America, most of central Africa, central north-east India, most of the central basins of lrrawady, Mekong, sikiang and in pakistan yongize rivers, north Australia and south-east USA.
These area surround the areas of heavy rainfall. The receive rainfall from trade sends and monsoons which have already shed much of their moisture in the high- rainfall areas. As such, these areas receive only moderate amounts of rainfall. 3. Region of low rainfall (50 cm to 100 cm) which includes- (i) Interiors of continents in tropical latitudes - central- west south Americal, Central - west India, central - north and east Australia and an essay on research central - east Africa ; and. (ii) West interior and east interior margins of continents in the temperature latitudes - Hwang No plain and surrounding lands in eastern Asia, west - central Europe, Central - east U.S.A., and north east Canada. These areas receive rainfall from winds which have greatly exhausted themselves on wass. As such, the amounts of rainfall received are law.
4. Region of scanty rainfall (25 cm to argumentative be banned, 50 cm) which includes- (i) Margins of tropical zone - central - west Australia, central southern south America, central - southern Africa, borderland of Sahara, and parts of central - west Asia ; and. (ii) Northern margin of cool temperature zone - central USSR; west - central USA ; and an essay on research central Canada. The prevailing winds become relatively dry by the time they enter these areas. Hence only scanty rainfall is received. 5. Essay? Region of on research, very scanty rainfall. Argumentative Essay? The various areas in this region are all called deserts. Deserts are of three types : Hot deserts, mode - latitude deserts, and cold deserts. Hot deserts along the western margins of continents in the trade wind belt. These are also called tropical deserts. They receive very scanty rainfall as the coins blocking in from landmasses are almost dry.
Principal hot deserts are the Sahara desert in north Africa; Kalahari desert in south Africa, Arabian desert in south west Asia ; West Australian desert in Australia, and Atacama desert in south America. Mid - latitude deserts are located in the interior regions of an essay, large containments, for away from the range of essay should, rain-bearing winds from the oceans. An Essay On Research? Principal mid-latitude deserts are the Gobi-desert in south America. cold deserts die in the Eurasian and essay on renaissance Canadian tundra and in the lands around the north and the south poles. Precipitation in these deserts occurs as snowfall. 11-2. Seasonal distribution of on research, rainfall. Rainfall is very unevenly distributed over australians essay the Earth's surface, and different places have chief rains occurring at on research, different seasons. Seasonal distribution of rainfall may be summarized under the following categories : 1. Areas having rainfall at all seasons. These are - (i) Equatorial low pressure belt, extending for a few degrees on in pakistan either side of the equator, which has two very wet seasons and two rather lese wet seasons in an essay on research, the year. 2. Western margins of continents in the coal temperature zone which lie in the rack of the westernizes.
These winds bring moisture - laden winds from oceans at all times. Further, depressions causing cyclonic rains occur throughout the essays on inflation year. An Essay On Research? However, more rain falls in argumentative be banned, autumn and winder than in the rest half of the year. tropical deciduous forests. These are called the monsoon forests between 200 cm.
75 cm. These forests easily catch fire. An Essay On Research? They are divided into two groups : (i) Noist which are found on christmas carol introduction the slopes of western ghats having took as an on research, important species. (ii) The most deciduous forest found in north-eastern part of the essay Peminsula i.e. around chhotanagpers plates covering cast Madhya Pradesh, South Bihar and West Orissa along with Shivalias in the north having sat as the on research most important tree. The Thorn and Scrus Forests : These forests are found in region of 75 cm. rainfall, spreaded over north-western part of the country from saurashtra in the south to Punjab plains in the north, alongwith northern Madhya Pradesh, South-West Uttar Pradesh and Bundelkhand plateau, in essay, the last having Kikar, Babul, Khair, Date palsns as most useful trees.
They gradually fack away into scrubs and thorny bushes, which constitute the typical desert vegetation.
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150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and an essay, Blunders Ever. People write the are racist essay strangest things on their resumes, sometimes downright hysterical. Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at an essay on research these? The Top 10 are at the bottom. Enjoy! #8220;Career break in 1999 to university of ohio dissertations renovate my horse#8221; #8220;1990 1997: Stewardess Royal Air Force#8221; Hobbies: #8220;enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians#8221; #8220;Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.#8221; Cleaning skills: #8220;bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c#8221; #8220;Job involved#8230;counselling clientele on accidental insurance policies available#8221; #8220;2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people#8221; #8220;I'm intrested to here more about on research, that. University Of Ohio? I'm working today in an essay a furniture factory as a drawer#8221; #8220;I am about to enrol on of ohio dissertations, a Business and an essay, Finance Degree with the Open University. Essay Be Banned? I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for an essay on research future success.#8221; #8220;Time is very valuable and should, it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with#8221; #8220;I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality#8230;#8221; From Careerbuilder.ca's 10 Wackiest Resume Blunders: Candidate included a letter from his mother. Candidate stated the ability to persuade people sexually using her words.
Candidate wrote resume as a play Act 1, Act 2, etc. Candidate included naked picture of himself. From Amy Joyce on Resume Bloopers: #8220;Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to an essay on research Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to period Detail#8221; Woman who sent her resume and cover letter without deleting someone else's editing, including such comments as #8220;I don't think you want to say this about yourself here#8221; From Ask Annie's article about resume blunders: #8220;an applicant ghosted a headshot as the background to her resume#8221; Other Interests: #8220;Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the dogs more than my wife)#8221;. An Essay? #8220;One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border#8221; Hobbies: #8220;getting drunk everynight down by essay the water, playing my guitar and an essay, smoking pot#8221; Why Interested in Position: #8220;to keep my parole officer from putting back me in jail#8221; A woman had attached a picture of herself in a mini mouse costume Hobbies: #8220;Drugs and girls#8221;. Under #8220;job related skills#8221; for a web designer #8220;can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet#8221;. My sister-in-law misspelled the word #8220;proofreading#8221; in her skill set.
The objective on one recent resume I received stated that the what essays applicant wished to pursue a challenging account executive position with our rival firm. Objective: #8220;career on the Information Supper Highway#8221; Experience: #8220;Stalking, shipping receiving#8221; #8220;I am great with the pubic.#8221; A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com The applicant listed her name as Alice in the resume but wrote Alyce on the onsite application. One candidate's electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude. #8220;#8230;sent out my resume on the back side of a draft of on research, a cover letter to another firm#8230;#8221; #8220;My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.#8221; One applicant for a nursing position noted that she didn't like dealing with blood or needles. Achievements: #8220;Nominated for prom queen#8221; I once received a resume with a head and shoulders picture in the top left of the argumentative essay smoking first page. The picture was of an essay on research, a lion's head, wearing a coat, shirt, and tie. a resume#8230; was printed on on renaissance, the back of the an essay on research person's current employer's letterhead. University Of Ohio Dissertations? One resume that came across my desk stated how the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school. An Essay? A resume#8230; had several grease stains and a smudge of what revolutionary about the american essays, chocolate on an essay on research, it Hobbies: #8220;Having a good time#8221; From Careerbuilder.com's Top 12 Wackiest Resume Blunders: Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over university dissertations, the death of his cat for three months.
Candidate's hobbies included sitting on the levee at night watching alligators. Candidate explained an arrest by on research stating, #8220;We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.#8221; Candidate included family medical history. From Mainejobs.com's Avoid These Resume Bloopers: #8220;nine-page cover letter accompanied by a four-page resume#8221; #8220;One applicant tried to make an smoking should impression by on research using four different fonts, three ink colors and university, a variety of highlighting options on her resume#8221; From ResumePower.com's Ten Classic Resume Bloopers: #8220;Revolved customer problems and inquiries.#8221; #8220;Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.#8221; #8220;Planned new corporate facility at an essay $3 million over budget.#8221; #8220;Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.#8221; From HotJobs' Real-life Resume Blunders to essay smoking should be banned Avoid: #8220;I often use a laptap.#8221; #8220;Able to say the ABCs backward in under five seconds.#8221; #8220;I am a wedge with a sponge taped to on research it. My purpose is to essay smoking should wedge myself into someone's door to absorb as much as possible.#8221; From Fortune Magazine via HumorMatters.com: #8220;Finished eighth in my class of ten.#8221; #8220;Received a plague for Salesperson of the an essay on research Year.#8221; #8220;Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.#8221; #8220;Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.#8221; #8220;Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.#8221; #8220;It's best for what was so about revolution employers that I not work with people.#8221; #8220;Let's meet, so you can #8216;ooh' and #8216;aah' over an essay on research, my experience.#8221; #8220;I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.#8221; #8220;You will want me to be Head Honcho in university of ohio dissertations no time.#8221; #8220;I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.#8221; #8220;Personal interests: donating blood. On Research? Fourteen gallons so far.#8221; #8220;Marital status: often. In Pakistan? Children: various.#8221; #8220;I am loyal to my employer at all costs..Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.#8221; #8220;Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.#8221; Job Duties: #8220;Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.#8221; Interests: #8220;Gossiping.#8221; Favorite Activities: #8220;Playing trivia games. An Essay? I am a repository of of ohio dissertations, worthless knowledge.#8221; Skills: #8220;I can type without looking at on research thekeyboard.#8221; Employer: #8221; Myself; received pay raise for high sales.#8221; Objective: #8220;I want to play a major part in essay on renaissance period watching a company advance.#8221; Experience: #8220;Chapter president, 1887-1992.#8221; Experience: #8220;Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting.#8221; Experience: #8220;I'm a hard worker, etc.#8221; Languages: #8220;Speak English and Spinach.#8221; Reason for leaving: #8220;I thought the world was coming to an end.#8221; Additional skills: #8220;I am a Notary Republic.#8221; Objective: #8220;So one of the main things for on research me is, as the movie #8216;Jerry McGuire' puts it, #8216;Show me the money!'#8221; Skills: #8220;I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.#8221; Objective: #8220;To hopefully associate with a millionaire one day.#8221; Skills: #8220;I have technical skills that will take your breath away.#8221; Qualifications: #8220;I have guts, drive, ambition and on inflation in pakistan, heart, which is an essay, probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.#8221; Objective: #8220;I need money because I have bills to pay and I would like to have a life, go out partying, please my young wife with gifts, and have a menu entree consisting of more than soup.#8221; Qualifications: #8220;Twin sister has accounting degree.#8221; Experience: #8220;Have not yet been abducted by university of ohio aliens.#8221; Skills: #8220;Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years.#8221; Objective: #8220;I would like to work for on research a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.#8221; Education: #8220;I possess a moderate educatin but willing to learn more.#8221; Education: #8220;Have repeated courses repeatedly.#8221; Salary requirements: #8220;The higher the better.#8221; Salary desired: #8220;Starting over on inflation, due to recent bankruptcies.
Need large bonus when starting job.#8221; Bad traits: #8220;I am very bad about time and don't mind admitting it. Having to arrive at a certain hour doesn't make sense to me. What does make sense is that I do the job. Any company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.#8221; References: #8220;Bill, Tom, Eric. An Essay On Research? But I don't know their phone numbers.#8221; Work experience: #8220;Two years as a blackjack and baccarat dealer. Of Ohio? Strong emphasis on on research, customer relations a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.#8221; Personal: #8220;I limit important relationships to people who want to essays on inflation do what I want them to do.#8221; Objective: #8220;Student today. Vice president tomarrow.#8221; Accomplishments: #8220;Brought in a balloon artist to entertain the team.#8221; Application: Why should an employer hire you? #8220;I bring doughnuts on an essay on research, Friday.#8221; Achievements: #8220;First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982.#8221; Reason for leaving: #8220;Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.#8221; Special skills: #8220;I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings.#8221; Reason for leaving last job: #8220;Bounty hunting was outlawed in my state.#8221; Experience: #8220;Any interruption in employment is christmas carol introduction essay, due to being unemployed.#8221; Objective: #8220;To become Overlord of the Galaxy!#8221; Objective: #8220;What I'm looking for in a job: #1) Money #2) Money #3) Money.#8221; Hobbies: #8220;Mushroom hunting.#8221; Experience: #8220;Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.#8221; Objective: #8220;My dream job would be as a professional baseball player, but since I can't do that, I'll settle on being an accountant.#8221; Awards: #8220;National record for eating 45 eggs in an essay two minutes.#8221; Heading on stationery: #8220;I'd Break Mom's Heart to Work For You!#8221; #8220;I am a #8216;neat nut' with a reputation for being hardnosed.
I have no patience for australians are racist essay sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of an essay on research, companytime.#8221; Experience: #8220;Provide Custer Service.#8221; Experience: #8220;I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.#8221; Strengths: #8220;Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.#8221; Work experience: #8220;Responsibilities included checking customers out.#8221; Work experience: #8220;Maintained files and reports, did data processing, cashed employees' paychecks.#8221; Educational background: #8220;Highschool was a incredible experience.#8221; Resume: #8220;A great management team that has patents with its workers.#8221; Cover letter: #8220;Experienced in all faucets of accounting.#8221; Objective: #8220;I am anxious to of ohio dissertations use my exiting skills.#8221; Personal: #8220;I am loyal and an essay, know when to keep my big mouth shut.#8221; Job duties: #8220;Filing, billing, printing and coping.#8221; Application: #8220;Q: In what local areas do you prefer to work? A: Smoking.#8221; Reason for leaving: #8220;Terminated after saying, #8216;It would be a blessing to be fired.'#8221; Personal: #8220;My family is willing to relocate. However not to period New England (too cold) and an essay, not to university dissertations Southern California (earthquakes). Indianapolis or Chicago would be fine. My youngest prefers Orlando's proximity to an essay on research Disney World.#8221; Resume: #8220;I have a lifetime's worth of technical expertise (I wasn't born my mother simply chose #8216;eject child' from the argumentative be banned special menu.#8221; Resume: #8220;Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.#8221; Qualifications: #8220;I have extensive experience with foreign accents.#8221; #8220;I am fully aware of the an essay king of attention this position requires.#8221; References: #8220;Please do not contact my immediate supervisor at essays on inflation the company. My colleagues will give me a better reference.#8221; #8220;Worked in a consulting office where I carried out my own accountant.#8221; Accomplishments: #8220;My contributions on product launches were based on dreams that I had.#8221; Career: #8220;I have worked with restraints for an essay the past two years.#8221; Experience: #8220;My father is what revolutionary essays, a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of an essay on research, computer experience.#8221; Education: #8220;I have a bachelorette degree in computers.#8221; Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? #8220;A: 3 stories.#8221; (Resumania) A resume listed a skill as #8220;being bi-lingual in three languages#8221; (Ask Annie's) Background: #8220;28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).#8221; (Resumania) In the section that read #8220;Emergency Contact Number#8221; she wrote #8220;911.#8221; (Ask Annie's) Candidate drew a picture of a car on university of ohio, the outside of the envelope and an essay on research, said it was the hiring manager's gift. (Careerbuilder.com) Languages: #8220;Fluent in essay on renaissance English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.#8221; (Resumania) #8220;Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.#8221; (ResumePower.com) On one of our applications, a girl wrote #8221; I'm 16, I'm pregnant and I can do anything.#8221; At the same time she turned in an essay her application, her boyfriend handed in essay his.
On his: #8220;Felony for breaking and on research, entering.#8221; (Ask Annie's) #8220;One candidate included clipart on their resume of university, two cartoons shaking hands.#8221; (Ask Annie's) Application: #8220;On the line that asked what #8220;sex#8221; he was, he wrote #8220;occassionally#8221;.#8221; (Ask Annie's) Still giggling? Subscribe to JobMob via RSS or email and on research, follow me on Twitter for more laughing matters in your job search. Job Search Expert, Professional Blogger, Creative Thinker, Community Builder with a sense of humor. On Inflation In Pakistan? I like to help people. 117 Funniest Creative Job and Recruitment Ads. 21 Evil Things To Do On Your Last Day On The Job. haha. good stuff. These are hilarious and horrifying if you were the an essay on research author.
It#8217;s always a good idea to have someone else proofread your stuff. Haha that#8217;s hilarious! i enjoyed reading your commentaries especialy on blunders that prospective employees make on their resumes, it was quite informative. may you please send me information on how to write the resume(especialy the on renaissance lay out and how to present it. An Essay On Research? Hi Goldman, glad you enjoyed the read. You can find more tips from the JobMob archives about essay, resume writing. Also, we#8217;ve bookmarked some great links in the JobMob del.icio.us account. People outside recruitment don#8217;t understand we can not make this stuff up! I dont understand what is an essay on research, funny about Resume Hell No 2. Essay Smoking? Recruitnik- I know. Great, isn#8217;t it?
You guys are lucky, not everyone gets such comic relief on the job. Bernard- It#8217;s the visual of a stewardess in the fighter cockpit. 29. An Essay On Research? Work experience: “Two years as a blackjack and of ohio, baccarat dealer. An Essay On Research? Strong emphasis on essays, customer relations a constant challenge considering how much money people lose and how angry they can get.” Even though it could have been worded differently, I find his one to be a pretty decent qualification. “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to an essay Detail” This one is revolutionary, just perfect. Oh boy these are really funny! Anna #128578; PS got your blog link from Robyn#8217;s Brain Based Biz. Glad you laughed, Anna.
Thanks for telling me about on research, Robyn#8217;s site, I just Stumbled it. Her article is also funny. Revolutionary Revolution? This one is supper.. #8220;Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience#8221; Taking comment by Mullah rather too literally. “We are all sons of God.” A couple of an essay on research, years ago, when applying for a job designing electronic surveillance equipment, I included in my application letter the are racist fact that I had just obtained a pilot#8217;s licence. They offered me the job! Sometimes, adding something unusual to a job application can help. In my case, I was trying to prove that, at 49, I wasn#8217;t yet #8220;over the hill#8221;, and an essay on research, I could manage stressful situations.
I have had a wonderful giggle at some of the above. Good fun to read. Thank you for argumentative smoking letting us enjoy them. Very funny, made my afternoon! Clive- great success tip, thanks! caro- glad you enjoyed the an essay on research list. I had a lot of christmas introduction, fun putting it together. I#8217;m sure you#8217;ll also enjoy some of the other funnies under the on research #8216;Best Of#8217; tab here above on the right. Ermm#8230; I#8217;ve already heard or seen most of these, and revolution essays, I#8217;m not in recruitment. Then I#8217;m the guy in the office with Dilbert on my cubicle walls. An Essay? Expand and organize, there#8217;s a whole lot more stupidity going out there on resumes. “I am a ‘neat nut’ with a reputation for being hardnosed. I have no patience for sloppywork, carelessmistakes and theft of companytime.” I think this guy worked for me at my last job.
Nice collection.. Introduction Essay? Interesting read #128578; good times, good times! Some people are just too much, this is hilarious! LOL. An Essay? LOL, looks like they took several of those bloopers from essay be banned, my Resume! LOL. very funny, appart from the fact that the an essay RAF does acutally have stewardess, they serve on the RAF#8217;s Tristar fleet. Christmas? “1990 1997: Stewardess Royal Air Force” I don#8217;t understand why 1990 1997: Stewardess to the royal air force is funny? There are stewardess#8217; in the air force. An Essay? Yes, I think you will also find they are in the Royal Canadian Airforce as well, the essay be banned RAF#8217;s Tristar fleet is used to do troop transport to locations like the an essay Falklands, Belize etc and essay period, operates form Brize Norton. it operates almost as a scheduled airline, it is an essay on research, just operated by the military In fact if you visit the Falklands and travel by essay should air you will actually travel CrabAir #128578; OMFG, With all these people out an essay on research, there, no wonder I get so many call backs on my resume. babino and Tom it#8217;s just the visual of having a stewardess for about the american a fighter pilot. why not, there are women on on research, the front line now, and australians are racist, the israelis have had active combat women for years, and damn good they look too. #128578; I also love mushroom hunting. If you#8217;re quick with the old rifle you can sometimes bag 2 of the little suckers at the same time before they manage to scarper off behind a tree. Tom, I know, most of my Israeli army unit (not Air Force) were good-looking women.
And Israel has female fighter pilots and an essay, male stewards, but there#8217;s still no room for anyone to about the american carry peanuts around in an F-16 or Harrier cockpit #128521; CrabAir, what a great name if your planes tend to crash in the sea. Hey! #41 from Resumania#8217;s Archive is an essay, #8220;mushroom hunting,#8221; which is totally fun and has nothing to do with hallucinogenics. Essay On Renaissance? Basically you walk around the on research woods looking for edible mushrooms, which is great if you#8217;re like me and you enjoy walking around in university the woods. On Research? I just went and argumentative smoking, found 3 morels on an essay, Saturday. I sauteed them in butter and essay on renaissance period, they were delicious. The season#8217;s almost over!
REALLY GOOD THING!! All hilarious, but what#8217;s depressing is on research, I could see myself putting some of these in mine, since my art school insisted that we inject some personality in the #8220;Interests#8221; section. Essays On Inflation? some of these are obviously jokes or little witty remarks to make the hiring manager laugh and get his attention, they shouldn#8217;t be listed under #8220;blunder#8221; Hahaa, I think one of those is mine. Great list. I loved reviewing resumes at my last job. On Research? Some of the things people wrote were just hysterical. My favourite was between the guy who wrote an 8-page resume/essay in full paragraph style or the guy who wrote about the essay porn store he used to own. I worked for a staffing company as a supervisor, so I saw a LOT of bad resumes. My favorite was from a college-aged girl named Candace. She had written her name vertically on her resume (where the work experience section normally is) and had written an on research adjective for each letter of of ohio dissertations, her name, with an on research explanation.
C can do anything. A attentive to revolutionary about the american revolution essays detail. An Essay On Research? N not afraid to be banned go the extra mile. D delightful to an essay work with. Essay On Renaissance Period? A always on an essay on research, time. It cracked the whole office up.
I wanted to frame it and put it on the wall, but my boss wouldn#8217;t let me. #128578; My wife was the human resource director at a bank and on inflation in pakistan, they are always hiring tellers. One candidate#8217;s cover letter stated that her previous experience in a retail store was a plus in that it gave her the opportunity to have #8220;extensive intercourse with the public#8221;. Classic! whats so weird about mushroom hunting? its a fun hobby actually. An Essay? i really liked this one. What Revolutionary About Revolution Essays? Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot” i mean#8230; come on, most peoples hobbies would just include *layin on a couch all day watchun telly*. at an essay on research least this guy is somewhat poetic. About Revolution Essays? Great post some of these made me laugh out loud! Malarkey, ptitz there#8217;s nothing wrong with mushroom hunting, but it does sound funny. I used to on research put #8220;mixology#8221; in on renaissance my resume#8217;s Personal Interests but stopped doing it because it was having more of a negative impact than positive, and your resume should only leave a positive impression of you. In both cases, people were more apt to misunderstand the real meaning. Amy awesome.
I love the C for Clean. Steph I should add your examples to the list#8230;better yet, I#8217;ll make another one #128578; dodddddddd- the best way to an essay get a hiring manager#8217;s attention is by having a resume that corresponds to in pakistan exactly what she#8217;s hoping for, not by having her think you#8217;re funny (unless that#8217;s important for an essay on research the job, of course). Like it or not, that#8217;s reality. Greg- a lot of people give out australians are racist, that advice, but they don#8217;t finish telling it all. On Research? To get serious for a moment#8230;a resume is a sales document, the point of which is to get you an interview. Everything on on renaissance, it should be there to sell you to the hiring company. An Essay? If you think that company wants to know about your art (for example), put it on there. If not or unsure, leave it off. And you should ask yourself those customization questions pretty much every time. Amy: I saw one like that recently too. Period? This guy had his surname vertically, faded into the background, with words like that (I don#8217;t have the an essay CV here, so I couldn#8217;t tell you the essay on renaissance details).
His email address was also vertically down the side of the page, meaning that I had to go through it letter by letter to an essay on research figure out essays, what it actually said. The CV itself was a flow-chart. I had to search through the boxes for an essay on research the #8220;previous experience#8221; section to even figure out what kind of carol introduction, job this guy was applying for. Needless to say, we had a bit of a laugh about on research, it, and, while I left it with the essay be banned people who deal with this kind of thing, I seriously doubt he#8217;ll be hearing anything back. Very good knowledge for job seekers.Detailed and descriptive one. Hugh, your example sounds like one of the most time-consuming time-wasting resumes ever. A worst-case scenario. Glad you guys at an essay on research least got a laugh out of essays on inflation, it. If you have a scanned copy I#8217;d love to an essay on research post it here on JobMob after anonymizing it of course.
No wonder this has 93 comments now. I loved myself sick. On Renaissance? “Responsibilities included checking customers out.” Well, I guess we could all put that one on on research, a resume#8230; The best! #8220;Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.#8221; I wonder what was the position they were applying for . I had a resume come postage due! He got my attention! I hired him!! Very funny! HR staff must really enjoy their job, having to meet such interesting people who are completely nuts. I was interviewed once by of ohio dissertations a guy who looked and sounded exactly like Spicoli from #8220;Fast Times At Ridgemont High#8221;. I thought somebody was playing a joke on me, so I decided to an essay on research treat the interview as such. He asked me what my greatest weakness was.
I said #8220;really good chinese food#8221;. He laughed for about 30 seconds and then offered me the essay job. this is one is the on research best . “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to period it. My purpose is to wedge myself into an essay, someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.” This just get funnier and funnier. One an HR friend shared with me: #8220;Yesterday I couldn#8217;t spell executive.
Today I are one.#8221; I was hiring high school teachers when I encountered a resume that included #8220;torturing middle school students#8221; in on inflation its experience section. She got the job. An Essay On Research? Before you laugh your coyote#8217;s off, we are all human. Look at our president. Okay I just got this one and had to post: This was the subject line of the email#8230; [NAME DELETED] Resuem for was so revolutionary about essays Technical Writer. Great post. My favorite is number 24, repeating courses again again. An Essay On Research? I once said during an interview that I always double check and triple check all of my calculations. I heard later on that I almost didn#8217;t get the was so the american essays job because of that one statement. On Research? One of my friends went in for a job interview.
They asked him why he wanted the job. He said, #8220;I need money.#8221; hahaha. Well, at least he was honest lol. Interviewer: Do you ever get angry with co-workers?Interviewee: I don#8217;t get angry, I get even. sorry bt can u pls tell me what#8217;s wrong abt hell resume # 2?? cz i ddn#8217;t get ur point#8230; PLSSS.. Essay Smoking Be Banned? if i send u mine, will u correct it?? lady mira- it#8217;s just the image of a stewardess in a fighter jet. It would be just as funny if it said #8220;Steward Royal Air Force#8221;. On Research? About your question- if you#8217;re a JobMob subscriber and send me your resume, I will give you some free tips on how to essay smoking improve it. There are instructions on how to send it to me here. I have two favorites from my personal experience: (1) man in his forties wrote on his resume #8220;Just completed an early midlife crisis and am anxious to reenter the workforce.#8221; (2) woman wrote that her last employer was Pitney Bowels.
Hhmmm#8230;wonder if that had anything to do with her departure from the company! Hard to believe what many people write in the application. On Research? Very great work of this article. Thanks for the list. Be Banned? Those are pretty good. I love the. An Essay On Research? Experience: “Stalking, shipping receiving” Nice collection really funny. I loed some of the blooper..I liked the one cleans bathrooms and seats people. I don#8217;t want a job like that.
Number 4 Hobbies getting drunk every night down by the water,playing my guitar and smoking illrgal drug#8217;s. Essay? I just couldn#8217;t belive someone would put that on a resume the though of it is on research, silly. Essay Smoking? #8220;finished 8 out of 10#8221; classic, ha! #8220;Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.” I thought this one was the best, i couldn#8217;t help but laugh the an essay whole time. Oh this is too funny! First rule, proof read!! Some of those are absolutely brilliant.
When is the australians are racist essay book coming out? Duncan- you#8217;re right. I should look into an essay, making a book of these. Essay? Thanks for an essay on research the suggestion. 2# “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force” is not to bad, she just made the mistake of translating the companies name ( never a good idea) But she#8217;s just saying that she worked for KLM. Revolutionary Essays? As the an essay on research Founder/CEO of a reputable Web Design and Internet Marketing Agency, I browse articles related to various business verticals frequently.This was a very interesting read. I enjoyed it very much#8230;. Well done! Hysterical!
I love to read funny things like this#8230;can#8217;t believe what some people put on their resumes. Yikes! That is quite a long time to mourn the loss of christmas carol introduction, a cat! In a resume for on research an entry level attorney job: #8220;Intern with the pubic defender#8217;s office.#8221; I do not speak English, but i enjoyed a lot . ha,ha#8230; #8220;Detail orientated#8221; (so many people say #8220;orientated#8221; instead of #8220;oriented#8221;, but I usually never do). What a brain fart (or cosmic intervention). Are Racist Essay? I put that in a resume once (way back when before computers were big, hair WAS big, and an essay, long before I learned Prof. Harmon#8217;s rule on #8220;marinating#8221; your writing before re-checking. I wondered why out of 13 interviews only 12 gave me an offer until I re-read this one.
Then again, the what revolutionary the american revolution job was 100+ stories up at the World Trade Center so#8230; One should learn from others mistakes. Funny mistake (VERY common one the even best writers make) I did in class I can laugh about now-the misuse of the possessive #8220;their#8221; when the subject of the sentence is singular. An Essay? Now, this blunder annoys the crap out of me because a Prof (whose class I CALI#8217;d but assumed I failed just before graduation), great guy, learned a lot but scary in on inflation class, stopped me in the middle of me even though I was answering a very concept no one else in the class could grasp well, I was called on a lot more than anyone else (even after I raised my hand a lot). He asked #8220;#8230;do I have the right to proper Eng in my class#8230;I answered yes#8230;then he said that I misued this twice in an essay a couple of minuts and what was so revolutionary about revolution, had to stop me. He corrected me on a VERY common mistake I have read/heard USSC judges, esteemed writers, etc. use -misue of the possessive #8220;their#8221;. An Essay On Research? If the subject is singular so is the possessive. Example #8220;It is the essay on renaissance father#8217;s responsibility to their#8230;therefore it is their right whether to#8230;#8221; No-#8220;father#8221; (subject) is singlular. If you have to, re-write the sentence to avoid the an essay on research awkward he or she and do NOT write #8220;their#8221; there. You should have seen me turn beet red, sweat#8230;Now it annoys me more than #8220;He don#8217;t have no money#8221;, #8220;I could care less#8221; (instead of the proper #8220;I couldn#8217;t care less#8221; or using #8220;myself#8221; to try and smoking should be banned, soound #8220;fancy#8221; (#8220;Dancing with myself#8221; #8220;Playing with myself#8221;- all proper english (and not that there is anything wrong with that) BUT #8220;It was just my client and myself in the room#8221;-NOT OK. Carol Ryder- thanks for sharing.
Funny story and an essay, we learned something from it. Nice. Resume blunders can be devastating and in reality causes a loss of of ohio dissertations, income that could have been avoided. It#8217;s better to learn from other#8217;s mistakes than create your own. Hi, I am having difficulties loading your post. Just more or less 50 percent of this post appears to load, and the remaining is just blank.
I am not really certain why#8230;. An Essay? but you may want to take a look. I#8217;ll check back later on, this could be just a temporary server error. Argumentative Smoking? I work at on research an animal hospital. On Renaissance? The best one I ever received was from a gentlemen that wrote under experience. #8220;I worked with hores. I gave them shots and trained them#8221;
I was at an interview which had my ex as the interviewer#8230;well we didnt talk about the an essay job..we talked about essay on renaissance period, old times..and I told her because of an essay on research, our past relationship I wouldnt feel good taking up the job..so I declined it..but we re-connected..and I#8217;m still with her..I got a job shortly afterwards too..Interesting world we live in. #8220;I finished ninth in my class of essay, nine.#8221; What I#8217;d like to hear from Sotomayor. A resume blooper from an essay, old days as a manager#8230; #8220;sorted and disturbed all incoming mail.#8221; i was just on university of ohio dissertations, a network computer at an essay my appt building and essay period, just found this very funny. 1100 Philadelphia Ave. Gilbertsville, PA 19525. Pretty much in Zerns.
Seeking challenges that test my mind and body, since the two are usually inseparable. My goal is to be a meteorologist. An Essay On Research? But since I possess no training in was so about the american revolution essays meteorology, I suppose I should try the on research flooring field. I am trying for essays on inflation a entry level position? Maybe even laborer but I’m not crazy about an essay on research, working to hard and it really chaps my ass. My primary goal is to on renaissance be recognized and an essay on research, have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis.
Objective: I want a base salary of $50-$60,000 dollars, not including bonus. Essay Smoking? And some decent benefits. Like a retirement plan, health insurance, personal or sick days. I get sick a lot. Why you’re holding the an essay resume of a truly outstanding candidate: Previous experience: Self employed …a fiasco. • My intensity and focus are at argumentative essay inordinately high levels, and with my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable. • Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills and very good at math. • Transformed #8220;difficult#8221; customers into “irate” customers. It’s best for employers if I don’t work with people. An Essay On Research? • I’ve had exposure to the Germans for essays on inflation two years, but many words are inappropriate for on research business. • I am a pit-bull when it comes to australians are racist analysis. • Reason for on research leaving last job, The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia.
I prefer to essays in pakistan elaborate privately. • My ruthlessness terrorized the competition and can sometimes offend. On Research? • To hand build a classic cottage from the ground up using my ex father-in-law. Essay Be Banned? • Successfully played #8220;Chop Sticks#8221; on a toy piano with my big toes. EDUCATION: Graduated top 66% of my class. 1/2001-1/2002: Match.com (Don’t Judge me) • Getting rid of unruly clients. • Experienced with transforming numerous office machines into an essay on research, things such as a coffee maker and university of ohio, can I make great lattes! • I#8217;ve got a Ph.D. in human feelings. • Operated Pitney Bones machine. An Essay? I vow to of ohio dissertations fulfill the goals of the company as long as I live. You will want me to be Head Honcho in an essay on research no time. Looking for an employer that believes in prompting from within.
Yes, mushroom hunting is a real thing, but it still belongs on this list. The lesson here is if you have anything on australians are racist, your resume that#8217;s not COMPLETELY common knowledge within the an essay given industry, rephrase it, explain it, or remove it! I just had one where the applicant referred to himself in the 3rd person throughout out the university of ohio dissertations resume. Quite surreal. i luv tha#8217; simsons! #8221;Career break in 1999 to an essay renovate my horse#8221; #8221;Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse#8221; Hilarious post, the crazy answers must keep the HR managers from falling asleep! Can#8217;t see what#8217;s wrong with “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”. Be Banned? The job exists in the UK and could involve stewarding for an essay on research many senior personnel including the monarch or Prime Minister. There must be similar positions in the US Air Force on christmas introduction essay, board Air Force One etc. An Essay? These are fantastic. This was my favorite: Other Interests: “Playing with my two dogs (They actually belong to my wife but I love the essay smoking should be banned dogs more than my wife)”.
I know how that guy feels! I laughed so hard, tears came out, but bad spelling always makes me cry. Just the other day, I looked over a resume that said #8220;Referees available upon request.#8221; That was their way of inferring their hobbies #038; interests #128578; Where#8217;s the problem in leaving 911 (or whatever number it is for your countries emergency services?) #8220;Oh yes, I#8217;ve broke my leg!#8221; #8230; #8220;Do you want an an essay on research ambulance?#8221; #8230; #8220;No, just call my Aunty!#8221; #128578; Oh hell no! [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and essay, Blunders Ever by an essay on research Jacob Share [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share [#8230;] [#8230;] stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.aˆ? From ResumA© Mistakes, Bloopers, and argumentative smoking should, Blunders, a line I could not resist [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share Funny stuff and it must have taken a long time to compile. An Essay On Research? BTW, I#8217;m currently looking for someone fitting this description: #8220;I am great with the pubic.#8221; [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share [#8230;] [#8230;] Bunn List Of Why Blogs Are A Female Gender by Domtan 100 Things to do Before I Die by on inflation Joseph Gibbs 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share 10 Productive Ways for Moms to aˆ?Relaxaˆ? by Neena 10 Tips on How to Watch a Horror [#8230;] [#8230;] Bunn List Of Why Blogs Are A Female Gender by Domtan 100 Things to do Before I Die by Joseph Gibbs 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share 10 Productive Ways for Moms to aˆ?Relaxaˆ? by on research Neena 10 Tips on How to Watch a Horror [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share Just plain funny [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever by Jacob Share [#8230;] 150 Funniest, Dumbest Things Ever Written on a Resume#8230; We#8217;ve all made horrible spelling mistakes on resumes at one time or another but these people take the cake. #8220;I am great with the pubic.#8221; Or how about #8220;28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).#8221; Or maybe your favorite hobby is also #8220;enjoy #8230; [#8230;] compiling the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes Ever, I came upon on renaissance period the following anecdote and it was too funny not to an essay pass [#8230;] [#8230;] I saw the australians message on the gas pump, I first thought of all these funny resume blunders.
Since Robyn another blogger in this group writing project already mentioned them in her [#8230;] [#8230;] Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? The Top 10 are at the bottom. Enjoy! read more | digg [#8230;] [#8230;] sometimes downright hysterical. Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? [150 Funniest Resume Mistakes] Tags: bloopers, mistakes, resume, stupidityPosted in Funny [#8230;] [#8230;] acabo de pegar una panzada de reir despues de leer #8220;150 Funniest Resume mistakes#8220;, un articulo donde recogen algunas de las barbaridades que la gente mete dentro de sus [#8230;] [#8230;] Funniest Resume Mistakes (Story) [#8230;] [#8230;] JobMob has a funny collection of resume blunders from various websites.
Here are some of my favorites. An Essay? [#8230;] [#8230;] fotos en bolas, nin contes as tuas experiencias sexuais, nin des un correo dunha conta porno. Argumentative Essay Should? En 150 funniest resume mistakes atopas todo un resume dos gazapos que se tenen cometido nos curriculums. Via [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob [#8230;] [#8230;] Objective: Fail Lists of an essay, resume blunders. “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to are racist [#8230;] [#8230;] Drop June 2, 2008 5 second rule put to an essay the test [Asylum] And you thought your resume was bad [JobMob] Maxim magazine founder tells how to get rich. Sort of. [BusinessWeek] DV#8217;s International Babe of [#8230;] [#8230;] eso, os traigo unos cuantos consejos que se desprenden de los 150 errores #8220;graciosos#8221; (aqui estan todos, pero en ingles) que han ido cometiendo la gente hoygans y otros personajes del mismo estilo al enviar un [#8230;] [#8230;] Lists of resume blunders. Essay Smoking Be Banned? “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to an essay it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to argumentative smoking be banned absorb as much as possible.” [#8230;] [#8230;] First, congrats to Jobmob on getting their post dugg. Great post. An Essay? [#8230;] [#8230;] un articulo que describe algunos de los errores mas sorprendentes escritos en curriculums vitae (resume in English).
Gracias a Ruben y su portal Online.com.es las podemos leer traducidas a [#8230;] [#8230;] What Not To Put On Your CV June 3, 2008 Posted by liverpoolchamber in Top Tips, World Wide Web. Essays On Inflation In Pakistan? Tags: Bloopers, CV, Humour, mistakes, Resume trackback Writing an attractive and useful CV can be hard. No-one likes to an essay condense their life to carol essay two sides of A4 in the pursuit of on research, career advancement. Australians? But let#8217;s hope none of us have committed any of the blunders found on this list over at the Jobmob website. [#8230;] [#8230;] June 3, 2008 in Funny signs, world wide whackTags: cv, employmeny, funny, job tips, mistakes, resume Imagine if you are on a hiring committee and you have to read thousands of an essay on research, covering letters and about essays, CVs. On Research? It can be a really dull and painful job.
But when you get these jewels, it makes those hard times sort-of worth it. Copied shamelessly as-is from christmas, JobMob. [#8230;] [#8230;] got a side business going, you#8217;re probably always looking out for on research new clients as well. JobMob has a long list of are racist essay, resume blunders, either typos that were inadvertantly funny (Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team [#8230;] [#8230;] Lists of resume blunders. An Essay? “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to university dissertations it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.” [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever (tags: CV humor) [#8230;] [#8230;] #8220;150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and an essay on research, Blunders Ever#8221; [JobMob] People write the strangest things on their resumes, sometimes downright hysterical. University Dissertations? Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? The Top 10 are at an essay on research the bottom. Enjoy! (tags: Jobs) [#8230;] [#8230;] Errores no intencionados en los curriculums [EN] [HUMOR]jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/ por Tanatos hace pocos segundos [#8230;] [#8230;] sabes ingles, podes leer mas en 150 Funniest Resume mistakesResumaniaResume hell10 dumbest resume blundersTen Classic Resume Bloopers Know Them So You [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Blunders [#8230;] [#8230;] process up. The reason I am bringing this up is a article I came across today that listed the essay on renaissance period 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever.
Its quite funny, here are some good ones: “Time is very valuable and it should be always used [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob This entry was posted by an essay on research Nathan on introduction essay, June 5th, 2008 at an essay on research 2:47 and is filed under Links. You can leave [#8230;] [#8230;] Most Popular 50 Funniest Short Job Descriptions Ever Funniest Strangest Job Titles Ever 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever Top 10 Best Job Ads of the World The Funniest Rejection Letter Ever 51 Funny Craigslist Job [#8230;] [#8230;] en curruculums He encontrado en la red: “150 Funniest Resume mistakes“. Carol Introduction? Un articulo donde recogen algunas de las barbaridades que la gente mete dentro de sus [#8230;] [#8230;] has compiled a list of the an essay on research 150 Funniest Mistakes made on resumes. The list was gathered from essays on inflation, other webistes like ResumeHell, CareerBuilder, and [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and an essay, Blunders Ever Haha. [#8230;] Jacob Share created JobMob to bring together job seekers and what about revolution essays, jobfinders to find jobs in on research Israel and all over university dissertations, the world. The blog is filled with straight-talking advice based on real world experience and an essay on research, lots of humor thrown in, so you should subscribe now to JobMob via RSS or email if you#8217;re looking for a better job or just want to laugh about it with articles like the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. [#8230;] [#8230;] social bookmarking site with users (#8221;diggers#8221;) known for their funny comments. Australians Are Racist Essay? When the an essay 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and smoking, Blunders Ever became popular on on research, Digg, many diggers had a lot of funny resume stories to [#8230;] [#8230;] those of us that are Digg challenged to australians a hilarious post over at JobMob entitled #8220;150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever#8220;. Aside from invoking my favorite Homer Simpson image (#8221;insert brain here#8221;), it [#8230;] [#8230;] those of us that are Digg challenged to a hilarious post over at JobMob entitled #8220;150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and an essay, Blunders Ever#8220;.
Aside from invoking my favorite Homer Simpson image (#8221;insert brain here#8221;), it [#8230;] [#8230;] Hola a todos,Ahora que estoy en proceso de buscar nuevos horizontes, mis companeros me enviaron un website sobre 150 cosas que no se deben escribir.La pagina esta en ingles, y es:http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/No-ta-ble.Saludos! [#8230;] [#8230;] If you liked this, you#8217;ll love the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. [#8230;] [#8230;] Calinadas em Curriculum Vitae Publicado em Outubro 26, 2008 por ovigia The Job Mob#8217;s Resume Mistakes Page [#8230;] [#8230;] This well-designed logo definitely had a hand in on renaissance period the success of an essay, Luciano Passuelo#8217;s Lists group writing project over on Litemind. The notepad ties in perfectly with the theme, the image has matching colors, the university name of the group writing project is on research, easy to read. I participated in this gwp with 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and essay, Blunders Ever. An Essay? [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and on inflation, Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] #8212; Yesterday I stumbled across a hilarious list of 150 resume mistakes, bloopers, and blunders that had me laughing out an essay on research, loud. How funny are they? Well, let#8217;s put it this way: “I am a [#8230;] [#8230;] estos fallos son reales como la vida misma. Essay? Podeis ver algunos mas en online, hasta 150 en el articulo original (en ingles) y tambien en esta entrada que le dedique hace casi un ano a este mismo [#8230;] [#8230;] for an essay visiting!Need a break this weekend from your usual job search routine? Check out the #8220;150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever.#8221; And please, have multiple people proofread your resume! Share and [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/ Unemployed To Do List And for the record, this isn#8217;t my to do list. Mine would have included snapping a picture of the pastries at The Coffee Shop to of ohio post to my blog! [#8230;] [#8230;] giving it to on research anyone. Essay On Renaissance? There are a variety of mistakes people make when developing their resume.
One blooper may be enough to move your resume from the interview pile to an essay the circular file. Check out smoking, a few [#8230;] [#8230;] has the whole shebang of the an essay on research 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever just to brighten up your day while you sort out your resumes if you are a recruiter or thinking of [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes [#8230;] [#8230;] Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever! The best argument for proofreading I’ve seen anywhere, although [#8230;] [#8230;] found a list of the essay should be banned ‘150 funniest resume mistakes’. When reading it, you will quickly learn that not proofreading your resume will keep you [#8230;] [#8230;] great news, folks! Hey, that means that even THESE people might be able to get a [#8230;] [#8230;] also worth your time to check out the rest of an essay on research, these hilarious entries. You can view them all here. Tagged with: Cover Letters, First Impressions, How to find work, How to Network, Human [#8230;] [#8230;] List of funny (or pathetic) resume errors and typos. I think I have a degree in essay on renaissance period unclear physics, [#8230;] [#8230;] jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Making profit from user-generated contentYou’ve Got Good Content — But How Are You Presenting It? [#8230;] [#8230;] a professional resume writer, at least consider getting it proofread.
Some of the an essay on research entries in christmas introduction essay the 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes have clearly been written by someone with a sense of an essay on research, humour. Others are simply odd but many have [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] View the original here. Share and Enjoy: [#8230;] [#8230;] neat web site was brought to my attention that I just had to share. It#8217;s a blog post entitled 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and christmas introduction, Blunders Ever #8212; it#8217;s definitely worth a [#8230;] [#8230;] 25th, 2010 | Author: Trevor Wilson Here#8217;s a little humor to brighten your day. On Research? The 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever should provide a much needed [#8230;] [#8230;] Other sources: Resumes-Funniest-Mistakes [#8230;] Social comments and analytics for this post#8230; This post was mentioned on Twitter by A_Stro: @cc_chapman 150 ways not to get a job http://bit.ly/t07OM. Thought I#8217;d share the laughter :-)#8230;
[#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and on inflation in pakistan, Blunders Ever [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever. http://twurl.nl/6q3sm7. very funny @TouroLawCSO 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers, and Blunders Ever. http://twurl.nl/6q3sm7. [#8230;] or updating your resume. An Essay On Research? After reading this you will want to check over it just one more time. http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/ Leave a [#8230;] [#8230;] So there you have it, the do’s for writing your resume. University Of Ohio? Happy resume writing, GoMarket yourself, and hopefully you’ll never make it on this list: 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. [#8230;] [#8230;] with his resume, a letter of recommendation from his mom. See the hilarity for yourself at http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes [#8230;] [#8230;] received a tweet from someone sharing a humorous listing from the an essay on research website JobMob called 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. Having seen many of these myself, I enjoy reading similar lists for smoking be banned a quick chuckle. But I [#8230;] [#8230;] Jobmob has put together a list of 150 ridiculous mistakes that job seekers make on their resumes, cover letters, and applications, culled from on research, various sources. [#8230;] [#8230;] a little levity was in order to lighten our spirits in these unsettling times.
So I went back to JobMob#8217;s 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and argumentative be banned, Blunders Ever, and an essay on research, grabbed a few more from on renaissance period, Jacob Share#8217;s [#8230;] [#8230;] night, I tripped across this site, 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes. Are they funny? Yes, depending on which side of the resume you happen to be on. What#8217;s not [#8230;] [#8230;] was put in an essay the #8220;no#8221; pile. Here are some of essay smoking should, my favorite resume bloopers I found via Job Mob, Resume Hell, and Zimbio. Obviously spell-check isn#8217;t all it#8217;s cracked up to [#8230;] [#8230;] ??? ?????? ??? ????? ?? ????? ???????. [#8230;] [#8230;] was put in the #8220;no#8221; pile.
Here are some of on research, my favorite resume bloopers I found via Job Mob, Resume Hell, and Zimbio. Obviously spell-check isn#8217;t all it#8217;s cracked up to christmas carol [#8230;] [#8230;] these well-educated students need to Pause before they post. See a full list of 150 Resume Mistakes here, or read 5 that the eBranding Me team chose to share below. [#8230;] [#8230;] at my resume, I did a little searching for tips and advice, and found this list of JobMob#8217;s 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes. These are from on research, actual resumes, and include such gems [#8230;] [#8230;] a Good Laugh#8230; Click here to read the on inflation in pakistan 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever on an essay, [#8230;] 150 Funniest #Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders Ever http://su.pr/224JyC #jobsearch #jobhunt #careeradvice #career #employment #naj. 150 Funniest #Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders Ever http://su.pr/224JyC #jobsearch #jobhunt #careeradvice #career #employment #naj.
150 Funniest #Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders Ever http://su.pr/224JyC #jobsearch #jobhunt #careeradvice #career #employment #naj. 150 Funniest #Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders Ever http://su.pr/224JyC #jobsearch #jobhunt #careeradvice #career #employment #naj. 150 Funniest #Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders Ever http://su.pr/224JyC #jobsearch #jobhunt #careeradvice #career #employment #naj. 150 Funniest #Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders Ever http://su.pr/224JyC #jobsearch #jobhunt #careeradvice #career #employment #naj. RT @PRJobsAtlanta: 150 Funniest #Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders Ever http://su.pr/224JyC #jobsearch #jobhunt #careeradvice #ca #8230; 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes: http://bit.ly/Kl8PY #jobhuntchat. Essay? 150 Funniest #Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders Ever http://ow.ly/2WZQ0 #prjobs #publicrelationsjobs #HAPPO #entrypr #PRYoPRo.
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Resume mistakes from Fortune Magazine: Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.” http://jobmob.co.il/blog/funniest-resume-mistakes/ 150 Funny Resume Mistakes, Bloopers Blunders http://ow.ly/2WZQ0 See Jobs: http://bit.ly/LA-PRJobs #prjobs #losangeles #la #entrypr. 150 worst resume blunders. E.g.) “can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet” #resumeblunders http://bit.ly/2592cp. [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob. [#8230;] [#8230;] about an essay on research, your hobbies and outside interests.For more examples of mistakes to avoid, check out australians are racist essay, these funny resume errors and on research, bloopers.Final WordA competitive job market means that first impressions matter, and australians essay, you must avoid mistakes [#8230;] [#8230;] errors but proofreading can save you from ours of an essay on research, embarrassment. Get it? Double check for silly mistakes that can rule you out essays, immediately such as addressing the letter to a different company, like I [#8230;] [#8230;] can spend hours reading examples of resume blunders on the Internet. Besides being entertaining, they also serve as a warning to the [#8230;] [#8230;] a resume can be downright hilarious at times.
Or, it can be pretty [#8230;] [#8230;] the on research job opportunity, you may also end up on a list of funny resume mistakes, such as this one on JobMob. Here are a few of essays on inflation, my favorite funny resume errors from the on research [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] Scraped bits either from #8220;WOW Guide Blog#8221; (January 14, 2011) or 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever#8220;. [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] via 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever | JobMob. [#8230;] [#8230;] Read more funny resume bloopers on JobMob [#8230;] [#8230;] seem like painfully obvious ‘don’ts’ when it comes to compiling your CV but they are real examples of what people have included in their application for a position. Their blunders were then shared [#8230;] [#8230;] Business Insider JobMob Forbes [#8230;] [#8230;] 9) 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] doesn’t catch everything. You don’t want your prospective employer to read about how you, “revolved customer problems and university, inquiries” instead of an essay on research, resolving [#8230;] [#8230;] READ NEXT: Our original classic, 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever [#8230;] [#8230;] Here are a few examples from Job Mob. Christmas Carol Introduction? [#8230;] [#8230;] hopefully these resume#8217;s, bloopers, and these have scared you into the proper way to write a resume cover [#8230;] [#8230;] on your resume, but there are also many things you don#8217;t want on it. Here are a few #8220;mishaps#8221; I [#8230;] [#8230;] take a look at an essay on research 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever. Funny stuff and worth a [#8230;] [#8230;] Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by are racist the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot” (JobMob) [#8230;] [#8230;] 4. The Typo. I#8217;ve seen it all.
From #8220;pubic#8221; relations to operations #8220;manger,#8221; an an essay on research embarrassing typo will not only disqualify you from revolution, contention but could land you on an essay on research, a list like this. Essay Period? [#8230;] [#8230;] how your resume should be, let’s have a look to an essay on research this list of funny errors employers shared from some of the argumentative essay smoking should be banned resume they receive. There are a lot more examples of resume disasters. But instead, let’s talk about [#8230;] [#8230;] useful nuggets that will improve your CV. For more hilarious examples of what not to include follow this [#8230;] [#8230;] Here are a few of our favourite funny resume bloopers, courtesy of the JobMob blog. [#8230;] [#8230;] 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever, all based on true stories, #8220;a candidate listed her e-mail address as [#8230;] [#8230;] problem? This gaffe shared by JobMob: “Experience: ‘Child care provider: organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.” [#8230;] 28932 followers 2495 likes 2259 followers 1361 followers 1658 JobMob Insiders 881 posts 11599 comments. Join 9887 JobMob subscribers to get free exclusive content such as The Ultimate Twitter Job Search Guide. Subscribe to on research JobMob® and was so revolutionary the american revolution, Download The Ultimate Twitter Job Search Guide.
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cissp cisa resume Gregory D. Kaighin, MSIS, CISSP, ITIL. 3208 Stonebridge Trail, Valrico, FL 33596. Management position in IT or senior level engineering position where over an essay on research, 20 years of experience and a solid work ethic will add value to the organization and its customers. Seeking a full time position in Tampa, Florida. SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS. Experienced Systems Engineer.
Broad experience from essay on renaissance period twenty years in an essay on research telecommunications and Information Technology and ten years experience designing and supporting Information Systems as a Department of university Defense contractor and an essay on research as an IT consultant for private sector clients. Skilled Leader and Manager. Unsurpassed creativity, resourcefulness, and leadership in a fast-paced environment. Essays On Inflation. Proficiency managing projects and leading technical teams. Adept at promoting teamwork among employees. Outstanding rapport with customers, subordinates and all levels of management. Provide highly professional, precise, reliable, exhaustive, and an essay on research dedicated services . Professional with cutting-edge skills. MSIS and Certified CISSP. Maintain skills by participating in continuing professional education. Active member of the Association of Information Technology Professionals (AITP), and essay the International Information Systems Security Certification Consortium (ISC )² . • MS Windows Servers. • Vulnerability Scanning Tools.
• MS Office SharePoint Server. • Systems Analysis and Design. • Business Continuity Planning. • CYBERCOM IAVM Compliance. • Linux - Multiple Flavors. • Disaster Recovery Planning. • Telos Xacta IA Manager.
• VPN Client and Server Software. • Performance Monitoring Reporting. • DIACAP / RMF / ICD503. • Firewalls, IDS and Web Proxies. • Retina and ACAS Scanners. • Cisco Routers and Switches. • Certification and an essay Accreditation. ISSM / INFOSEC ENGINEER, iGov Technologies, Contracted to USSOCOM, MacDill AFB, FL. Apply Information Assurance (IA) engineering best practices and regulations to the Tactical Local Area Network (TACLAN) system.
Develop test specifications and test strategy to conduct thorough IA and risk assessments for each TACLAN baseline release and successfully obtain ATOs for are racist essay each TACLAN baseline and incremental release. Conduct all IA and application engineering duties in a heavily virtualized environment with VMware Infrastructure and shared centralized storage. An Essay On Research. Provide hands-on senior-level subject matter expertise on of ohio Operating Systems, applications, networks, databases, Security Technical Implementation Guides (STIGs) and an essay on research enterprise level security requirements. Information Systems Security Manager (ISSM) for iGov’s SIPRNet connection. Christmas Carol Introduction. Established iGov’s SIPRNet enclave and obtained Certification and an essay on research Accreditation (CA) of the essay on renaissance period, network by an essay DISA. Developed and maintained a formal IS security program and established security policies for the TACLAN program. • Obtained an Authority to Operate (ATO) from DSS and an Authority to Connect (ATC) from argumentative should DISA for iGov’s SIPRnet . Package was completed and approved less than three months after coming on board. • Proficient implementing DISA STIGs/SRGs, NISPOM Chapter 8, IAVM Compliance, OPDIRS, and FISMA and CYBERCOM directives. On Research. Implemented security systems or technologies such as HBSS, PKI, Cisco and essay on renaissance period SourceFire IDS/IPS, Retina, Windows Update Server (WSUS), Group Policy and managed/maintained Active Directory to comply with DISA STIGs.
• As IA Manager also defined/developed/conducted blue or red team tests to ensure system upgrades and security met accreditation/information security requirements. On Research. Managed network physical security systems; SIPRNet Security, Protected Distribution System (PDS) and IP enabled Anti-terrorism/Force Protection (AT/FP) network devices. Ensured compliance with Information Assurance Vulnerability Alerts and Bulletins (IAVA/B). SHAREPOINT OPTIMIZATION EXPERT, SAIC, Contracted to PACAF/A6, Hickam AFB, HI. Senior Systems Engineer on carol essay the Pacific Air Forces (PACAF) Enterprise Information Management (EIM) applications development and business process automation team serving 35,000 customers in the Pacific Theater. An Essay. Designed, implemented and deployed MS Office SharePoint Server (MOSS) 2007 and Microsoft CRM server farms and underlying architecture throughout the Pacific region.
Analyzed and modified systems to create optimal configuration to satisfy confidentiality, integrity and availability requirements. Provided production support for the deployment of MOSS, CRM, Decision Support Information (DSI) systems and other records management and australians essay workflow tools. Coordinated with PACAF NOSC, AFNOC, product vendors and other relevant agencies to provision network core services. These included SMTP, SSL certificates, Active Directory GPOs, domain trusts and on research DNS, NetIQ performance monitoring, CommVault backups, Cisco and essays in pakistan ISA VPN rules, Web Proxy and Firewall rules, WAN/Web accelerators, SAN capacity requirements, and an essay power, HVAC and floor space. • Technical lead during PACAF pilot testing of four WAN Acceleration products. Vendors included Riverbed, F5, Cisco and Bluecoat. Assisted vendor engineers during pre-planning, setup and introduction evaluation phases of the tests. Tests were conducted on production WAN traffic between two bases in PACAF. Created evaluation criteria and full test plan, as well as an unbiased and an essay on research uniform method to collect, analyze and compare optimized vs. unoptimized traffic. for all four vendors. Dissertations. Collected data by utilizing NetIQ AppManager Web Response Time metrics measuring download time from on research Japan to 24 MOSS sites located in Hawaii.
Created charts of before and after optimization results and used these charts to determine Best of Breed. • Technical lead for essay smoking should a Tiger Team chartered by an essay PACAF/A6 to essays on inflation identify and an essay on research correct the causes of network latency across the what was so revolution, Pacific Theater WAN. Established Monitoring and Performance criteria to baseline and track changes in download times to SharePoint from all bases in PACAF. Coordinated meetings and on research site visits with key stakeholders and product vendors. Chaired Tiger Team meetings and categorized and tracked all potential problems from essay identification through correction. Worked directly with engineers from Microsoft, Cisco, Blue Coat, F5, EMC, DISA, and AFNOC during site visits, providing technical guidance and coordination of effort between multiple agencies when needed. Communicated all findings, corrective actions and performance improvements to an essay PACAF/A6 senior leadership and the base Comm Squadron Commanders.
These efforts have resulted in a theater-wide 74% improvement in download times to SharePoint, with two Alaska bases seeing an improvement of over 90%. • Project Manager for 15 MOSS system and argumentative smoking be banned infrastructure upgrade projects. These projects included two full NIPR and SIPR MOSS farm installs, WAN and an essay on research Web Acceleration / Optimization projects, upgrades to create network, SAN and power redundancy for all systems, implementation of MOSS publishing through ISA, and creation of essays on inflation in pakistan a VMware environment for MOSS development and production staging. • Provided project planning and oversight for the installation of the CRM-TMT task management solution for PACAF/CC and other high-level decision makers throughout PACAF. An Essay. Project included coordinating the what was so, integration of CRM-TMT with the on research, enterprise EMC SAN during a PACAF-wide SAN and virtualization upgrade project. Performed site surveys, provided technical recommendations and coordinated planning, installation and configuration efforts with vendor counterparts and other project stakeholders. • Provided technical guidance to a staff of essay on renaissance 15 contractors and Air Force personnel during the certification and accreditation (CA) process of an essay on research PACAF NIPR and SIPR EIS systems. Coordinated Retina and Disa Gold vulnerability scans and subsequent STIG mitigation efforts.
Provided artifacts for EITDR and DIACAP compliance. NetIQ PERFORMANCE ENGINEER, Verizon FNS, Contracted to PAC-TNOSC, Ft. Shafter, HI. Systems Engineer on dissertations a Systems Team that administered Message and Directory Services for an essay on research over 20,000 users in USARPAC. Managed the carol essay, NetIQ application and an essay on research servers monitoring program for over 800 servers to include 48 Active Directory infrastructure servers for both NIPRNET and SIPRNET. Managed the monitoring of over 50 Exchange servers that handled over 10 million messages per month. • Provided daily management of NetIQ monitoring and reporting tools to include AppManager , Performance Profiler and Analysis Center. Specifically monitored the health and performance of Enterprise Servers and are racist services to include Exchange, Active Directory, DNS, DHCP, Oracle, UNIX, NAS, SharePoint, SQL, ALTIRIS and VMware. Provided statistical reports on email usage, network response times, disk space usage, and CPU and on research memory utilization.
• Worked directly with members of teams from argumentative smoking be banned all functional areas to setup and enhance alerts, graphs and reports to on research meet Service Level Agreement metrics. Essays On Inflation. Corrected over 4000 NetIQ Knowledge Scripts that were causing incorrect or excessive alerting. Identified and corrected six major issues which were preventing alerts from being generated or sent to their intended recipients. Initiated several new processes in the monitoring system which enhanced the an essay, relevance of alerts received. SYSTEMS ENGINEER / IT CONSULTANT, Busch Consulting, Inc., Honolulu, HI.
Principal IT consultant for 20 small to medium sized businesses. Provided each client full life cycle system management from planning to on inflation in pakistan maintenance. Specialized in Information Systems and Network Security. Clients included credit unions, law firms, and an essay engineering and argumentative be banned real estate companies. • Managed several network upgrades as a Project Manager. Held on-site meetings with clients to on research outline project objectives.
Created project timelines and met with technical staff to coordinate project roll-out. Carol Essay. Ordered products, scheduled technicians for pre-build as well as onsite deployment. Held postmortem meetings at an essay on research, project completion. Followed up with clients to argumentative essay smoking should ensure 100% customer satisfaction. • As principal IT consultant, directly interfaced with client company executives on a daily basis. Provided clients with professional Systems Engineer level support. An Essay. This included hardware and software purchasing recommendations, disaster recovery and data archiving strategies, malware and christmas carol introduction intrusion prevention and detection solutions, and project management during system and network upgrades. Provided clients with day-to-day System Administration of an essay all systems and applications specific to each company as well as their supporting infrastructure.
TBMCS-UL C2 SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR, SAIC - Contracted to 15 th Air Wing, Hickam AFB, HI. Provided the full range of system/database administration tasks for over 500 users of Theater Battle Management Core System - Unit Level (TBMCS-UL), a USAF Command and Control (C2) system consisting of 10 servers and 175 workstations on a secure network located throughout Hickam AFB. Daily job responsibilities included Oracle database server management, backup, recovery and australians essay maintenance in a real-time, on-line redundant backup data server configuration; loading and reinitializing databases; reloading databases upon on research installation of new software version releases; database and australians applications server performance monitoring; database storage allocation and maintaining database configuration; database form and report design and development using SQL; monitoring application data flow and processes; external system interface implementation at an essay on research, the functional level; database and applications server performance monitoring; problem documentation and what about the american field-level resolution. Also responsible for system administration on Win2K Advanced Server and on research WinXP Workstation operating systems including installation, configuration, and reconfiguration of operating systems; maintenance of essays in pakistan system files, system parameters, and on research configuration table; software installation and applications server configuration; system performance monitoring and multi-server troubleshooting; application maintenance activities including GUI application configuration; system data replication and tape/SAN backup; security and user ID/duty position management; documenting new functional requirements identified and implemented by local user community, writing system status briefings and university dissertations reports, providing informal, mentor-guided on-the-job training to newly-assigned military system/database administration personnel. • Developed a customer requested application for viewing real-world and military exercise event logs stored in an Oracle database. An Essay On Research. Utilized SQL, VB and MS Access Forms to revolutionary the american revolution manipulate and an essay on research display the data. • Twice rebuilt TBMCS-UL during system spiral upgrades. Upgrades included installation of new Dell Servers, RAID units, Tape Backup devices, routers, switches and client laptops and desktop workstations.
Expedited the build of the client workstations by creating a Symantec Ghost multicast server. Period. Also built two similar autonomous networks for training and deployment requirements. • Designed a capability used by higher headquarter commanders that allowed viewing of war-fighting assets at all Air Force bases within their area of responsibility. This consolidated view gave decision makers the ability to view assets and missions in real-time, eliminating the an essay on research, lag that previously existed in the decision making process. Utilized Java Server Pages (JSPs) to remotely connect to Oracle databases at up to dissertations eight USAF bases at once. • Designed a secure remote video conferencing solution based on client articulated requirement. An Essay. Saved customer $180,000 by utilizing built-in tools and pre-existing hardware for this configuration. Conferencing used multicasting over Cisco Routers, MADCAP and ILS on the server side and client laptops using Microsoft Windows Telephony Applications Programming Interface (TAPI) with Phone Dialer as the front-end user application. TBMCS-UL C2 SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR, SAIC - Contracted to HQPACAF, Hickam AFB, HI. Served as Theater Battle Management Core Systems – Unit Level (TBMCS-UL) Tier 2 Helpdesk System Administrator for the Combat Air Force (CAF). In this role, provided technical expertise and solutions to CAF-wide TBMCS-UL system administrators.
Specifically and in pakistan consistently sought out by customers from on research all CAF bases when timely fault isolation and resolution were critical. Also served as System and Network Administrator for the TBMCS-UL development team at HQPACAF. Instrumental in the system design and testing of TBMCS-UL throughout its spiral development process. • Managed and supervised TBMCS-UL PACAF Tier 1 and CAF Tier 2 helpdesks. Argumentative Essay Smoking Should. The Tier 2 customer base included 28 units in on research the CAF with approximately five system administrators and over 200 users at each unit. Streamlined support procedures to argumentative smoking should expedite trouble resolution which resulted in a fix rate of well over 99% within established timelines. • Interfaced directly with third party developers of the an essay on research, TBMCS-UL Flight Scheduling application (TASAMS) to correct code deficiencies and ensure compliance with customer and security requirements. Tested this product thoroughly, identifying 380 code discrepancies that were corrected prior to introduction Spiral 6 release.
• Tested and an essay on research integrated COTS and other third party applications into christmas TBMCS-UL. These include: Microsoft Office 2000 Suite, NetMeeting 3.01, Defense Messaging System (DMS) 2.2 Gold, DMS 3.0, Veritas Backup Exec 8.6, DISA’s DII COE, NSI DoubleTake , Oracle 8i and 9i Database, Oracle FailSafe , Oracle Enterprise Mgmt. Console, Norton Antivirus v7.51, and Diskeeper v6.0. • Developed and formalized installation and administrative procedures for TBMCS-UL to comply with system hardware and software configuration management. On Research. Wrote and christmas carol redlined complex system technical documentation and installation procedures totaling over 3000 pages. • Utilized the PACAF NOSC Remedy Action Report System to chronicle and database system and an essay on research user problems, and to create reports used for essay period system monitoring and analysis. Provide On-the-Job-Training (OJT) to junior system administrators. • Designed four autonomous LANs for the TBMCS-UL development lab.
Each configuration consists of two Microsoft Cluster Servers on on research four Dell 6450 or 2650 servers and should be banned six client workstations networked by two CISCO 2660 routers and two CISCO switches. Configured the servers to an essay run Win 2000 Advanced Server and replicate data between clusters using NSI DoubleTake . Also configured DNS, WINS and user accounts and what about revolution established network and an essay system security policies. UNIX SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR , US Navy - Active Duty, Kunia (KRSOC), Hawaii. System Administrator for KRSOC’s 800 workstation and 40 server network. Essay On Renaissance. Planned and on research performed the installation and essays on inflation maintenance of all phases of an essay on research a UNIX based SUN and AIX client/server environment, including hardware, operating systems, third party software, network connectivity, and system security. • Implemented upgrades for site UNIX servers, email servers, DNS, NIS, print servers, application servers, and essay jumpstart/NIM servers. Performed routine account setup and maintenance for KRSOC customers. Also performed system backup and recovery using Veritas BackupExec . • Technical lead during the server and workstation upgrade phase of the on research, site conversion from an Ethernet to an ATM infrastructure. Developed installation and troubleshooting procedures for converting 800 Solaris and AIX UNIX clients and what was so revolutionary the american revolution servers to on research ATM. • Engineering Change Proposal (ECP) Coordinator.
As a member of the essays on inflation, KRSOC Plans and Projects department from 1/98 – 7/98 coordinated the work flow of an essay on research all new electronics and on renaissance Information Technology projects at KRSOC. ELECTRONICS MAINTENANCE TECHNICIAN, US Navy, Edzell Scotland Hanza , Okinawa. Managed eight member team of network and communications technicians for a 200 RF receiver remote. collection and on research forwarding system. • Administered an Ethernet LAN consisting of 400 IBM AT workstations and two ATT 3B15 servers. Argumentative Essay Smoking Should. Performed.
organizational level maintenance on Conventional Signals Upgrade equipment to include the ATT 3B15 processor, Keystone cipher tape drive, ATT 4425 display terminal, PC/AT and network components. Maintained site physical security electronics equipment to include Vindicator Intrusion Detection systems, badge reading systems, and an essay CCTV camera systems. • Performed preventive and corrective maintenance on all communications equipment at several Tech Control facilities. Christmas. Equipment serviced included: CV-3440 telephone modem, FCC-100 and DP-2048 signal multiplexers, ATT 3B2/600 Computer ( NewsDealer ), IDNX, KG-84, KG-194, KG-81, and an essay Chainwork GPS Timing System.
• Responsible for all inside/outside plant telephone maintenance, installation, repair, and/or relocation of over 200 DSN phones/lines and 100 NSTS (secure) phones/lines. Programmed and maintained secure Mitel NSTS switchboard. Also wired hundreds of RS-449 patch panels in Communication Center bays. Master of Science in australians are racist essay Information Systems (MSIS) , Concentration in Telecommunications Security. Hawaii Pacific University . Awarded 05/2009, GPA 3.84. Graduated With Distinction. Bachelor of Science in on research Business Management (BSBM) , University of Maryland , University College . Awarded 12/2005, GPA 3.51.
Three time Dean’s List mention. Associate of Arts, General Studies , University of Maryland , University College . Awarded 12/1998. DISA FSO, Assured Compliance Assessment Solution (ACAS) , 04/2015, 32 hours. DISA FSO, Securing Mobile Devices, 03/2015, 24 hours. Infosec Institute, DOD Risk Management Framework, 12/2014, 32 hours. Telos , Xacta IA Manager Assessment Engine – SOCOM ICD503 User Training, 06/2013, 16 hours. Telos , Xacta IA Manager Assessment Engine User Training – SOCOM, 07/2012, 24 hours. DISA FSO, Security Readiness Review (SRR) Walk-through for Windows, 7/2011, 40 hours. DISA FSO, Vulnerability Management System (VMS) v6.6, 5/2011, 16 hours. VMware, VMware vSphere : Install, Configure, Manage [V4.1], 4/2011, 40 hours. DSS, NISPOM Chapter 8 Implementation Course (IS302.01), 2/2011, 16 hours.
DSS, NISPOM Chapter 8 Requirements for Industry Course, 12/2010, 20 hours. USAF, TBMCS-UL System Administrator Spiral 8.5 Delta Training, 3/2006, 40 hours. USAF, YAF02SE, USAF System Administrator Course , 6/2005, 8 hours. Microsoft, 1560 Updating support skills from WinNT to what the american revolution Win2000 , 05/2002, 40 hours. Compumaster , Supporting, Troubleshooting, and on research Optimizing Win2000 , 04/2002, 14 hours. Oracle University , Enterprise DBA Part 1A, Architecture Administration , 07/2001, 40 hours. USN, A-531-0046 Information Systems Administrator , 05/2001, 2 months. • INFOSEC fundamentals, Relational Databases, OSI reference model, Microsoft Windows NT Management, Microsoft Exchange Server, UNIX, Routers, ATM.
USN, P-500-0025 First Line Leadership Development Program, 02/2001, 80 hours. Sun Microsystems, Solaris System Administration I (SA-238), 12/2000, 40 hours. Fore Systems, ATM Theory CORE Products Installation Maintenance , 05/2000 40 hours. Fore Systems, ATM PowerHub Installation, Operation and Maintenance , 05/2000, 32 hours. Laser Tech Inc., Copper - Fiber Optic Splicing School , 07/1998, 40 hours.
HQ Naval Security Group, Methods of Managing Quality , 02/1998, 40 hours. NSA, ES-386, TIDYTIPS III Hardware Maintenance , 03/1996, 40hrs. USN, A-102-0377 Information Collection Systems Maintenance , 12/1993, 2 months. USN, A-102-0109 Cryptologic Technician Maintenance Class A3, 09 /1991, 5 months. USN, A-102-0234 Electronic Technology, Class A1 , 05/1991, 4 months.
USAF, 902X1 Radio Operator Technical Training, 05/1990, 6 weeks. Fastrac NetG Computer Based Training: • 12327 UNIX Fundamentals , 12754 Networking Fundamentals , 12755 Networking Fundamentals 2 , 12777 UNIX Shell Programming , 12634 Sun Solaris Part 1 , 80201 Novell Networking Technologies Part 1. US Navy Computer Based Training: • NT-C10 Digital Switching , NT-C11 Understanding Ethernet , NT-C12 Understanding FDDI , NT-C13 Understanding Frame Relay, SMDS, and ATM , NT-C14 Understanding Bridges, Routers, Gateways , NT-C16 Local Area Networking , NT-C23 Digital Switching , NT-C24 T1 Transmission Basics. Certified Information Systems Security Professional (CISSP) #114991, Certified 10/2007. IT Infrastructure Library (ITIL) V3 Foundation #4420538, Certified 1/2012. Top Secret/SCI. SSBI 04 September 2012.
PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZATIONS AND HONOR SOCIETIES. • Upsilon Pi Epsilon (UPE) International Honor Society – Inducted 04/2008. • Epsilon Delta Pi (EDP) National Honor Society – Inducted 11/2006. • International Information Systems Security Certification Consortium (ISC)².